I love to sing, its no secret to those who are close to me at all, to be honest, even those who arent close to me, might catch me singing in a public restroom, its just a passion that I have in my soul. Next to my passion for Jesus, singing is the thing I am most passionate about in life. It has been a huge part of my life. I often remember scripture based on songs I learned in children's choir when I was younger. There are often things that I go through in life and I have songs that are my "go to" songs.
I was in a band for 3 years while I was in college and I loved it. I often remember songs we sang together and they help me through certain points in my life. I was thinking of one of those songs just the other day, "You Saved Me", was the name of the song. It is all about how God stepped in and saved our lives. I had the solo on this song, and it was one of my favorite to sing, because it was my personal testimony. There have been many points in my life where I was down and out and felt that I needed to be saved, but there is one point, my lowest, that I know God reached in and saved me. I wont go into detail, but suffice it to say, there was a day that I wanted to end my life. I was tired of being made fun of, I was tired of feeling like I didnt fit in. I was just tired of it all. That day, God sent my little brother into the room and we just had one of the most amazing conversations ever. I dont remember what was said and neither does he, we both just know that God used him to let me see myself through the eyes of Christ and how much I was really worth. When I sang this song, thats what I thought of. God physically saved my life that day, but long before that, he saved me.
I think we take that for granted sometimes. I think sometimes we are scared to admit that we even need saving at all. Thats what I want to think about and bask in this week. GOD SAVED ME! I am that important to him. He loves me and cares about EVERY PART of my life and he saved ME!!!! So now that I have been saved, what am I going to do about it?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
This weekend.....
Okay....so just as I thought, I got busy and was not able to do all the 30 days. I may come back to them later. But right now, I am going to talk about my weekend. Actually, let me go back and discuss the last 2 weeks and the whirlwind and craziness God has been working with us through!
So most of you know that this past year, for my mother, has been a very tough one. She has gone through depression, she went missing for a while, she went through times of confusion and disorientation, and none of the doctors could figure out why. She has been on many different anti depressants, and even went through some Electric Shock treatments to bring her out of what ever it was that was causing this. Through it all, though it was tough, we kept holding on and knowing that God was working and was going to show himself through this, for his Glory, not our comfort.
Well, last Friday, February 25, I was in the car getting ready to take my youth group on a ski trip when I got the call. My dad was crying on the other end. He said that my mom was being taken the the hospital for emergency surgery, they thought she had cancer of the spine. Now holding myself together, as to not scare a car full of youth, was not easy, but I did it. I went and told Luke the news, I composed myself, and we were on our way. My mom had lost the use of her legs a few days prior and had a cat scan and it showed a tumor causing the loss of her legs.
She had the surgery and came through it with flying colors! My brother and his wife and I rushed home as soon as we could, and the rest of the week, consisted of appointments and consultations with the doctors. The diagnosis...mom has B Cell Large Cell Lymphoma-a cancer that is very treatable and curable as well!
Now, while cancer is a scary and hard word to hear....in my moms case, it was Gods amazing work. You see, as they began to treat her with steroids, she came out of her depression. My mom had barely talked to us at all in the past year, in fact, most times, we didnt even think she knew or cared if we were around. But, my mom came back! She started joking with us again, she started talking to us. She is back to her old self again! The doctor told us that this cancer had been growing for quite sometime and that all that she has been through is directly correlated to the cancer. So she started Chemo, and that has been hard, but, when she is through with it, 6 treatments, and the cancer is iradicated from her body, she will be a new woman! Her back pain, that she has been suffering from for quite a while now, as completely disipated! The prayer now is that she will get the use of her legs back! She has had such trauma to her spinal cord that they cant guarantee that. While she can live a normal life without the use of her legs, its just another tough blow for her after the thousands she has already had this year! She is an AMAZING woman and an inspiration to me! God is real and working everyday! and in his way and time, his miracles are better than ANYTHING I could plan :)
Well, after that week, I came back home and got my kids ready to go on a trip to Acquire the Fire. Now, I am going to be totally honest with you here, I DIDNT WANT TO GO AT ALL!! I wanted to be at a youth ministers conference that was the same weekend. But God knew what he was doing. God moved this weekend alot. I know that he shared alot with my kids, but he shared alot with me too.
one thing that stuck out was a night during worship, the worship leader was sharing with us as we sang one of my favorite songs, Hosanna. He shared that the word means, "save us now". I began to think about this, our God is a God that saves. He loves us and he cares for us. and he wants to save us, its the basis of our relationship with him, if we didnt need to be saved, we wouldnt need him. But have I really allowed myself to be saved and enjoy the complete joy of it? I have dreamed for years that I would meet prince charming and he would come into my life, sweep me off my feet and save me and I would live happily ever after, but have I let God do that in my life?
Secondly, was the craziest turn of events that has happened to me in a long time. When we got to the event, we immedietly went upstairs and got settled and then it was time for worship. As I got into worship, I looked around for a minute, because I noticed that this guy was walking around our section just praying for our kids. I realized that this is something they assign many staff to do. But it touched my heart, these people were praying for me and for my kids :) God drew my attention to the young gentlemen praying for us, God just drew my attention and simply whispered, pray for him and remember him. So, I did.
Throughout the weekend, this guy was in our section, he prayed with some of our kids and passed out things to us when we needed them. At one point, our group wanted to adopt a child from Compassion International, so as we raised our hands, he brought us our packet, and of course the question I am used to by now, "sure, you can have one, but where is your youth leader?" I just smiled and said, "oh thats me". He smiled and said, "great!" This was the first interaction we had. And I just kept reminding myself, God told me to remember this guy.
As we broke from our session, my friend Trista, who has become one of my bestfriends, and had come to help chaperone for the week, went with me to look for shirts to buy. Now let me explain, I had been to this booth 3 times already, I really wanted a shirt and kept hoping theyd get my size, but they never did. So we went up once more, so I could pick another one. I was being ever so careful to pick, because we all know how I am with fashion :) As we were at the booth, this guy comes up. He immedietly begins talking to us. Sharing with me how much he loves Leeland, because I had just purchased an irish looking Leeland wristband. I love LEELAND! So as he comments, I share with him that while I love the band, I also got it for my irish heritage which I am so VERY PROUD of :) He told me I was rocking it very well, and began to flirt. Okay, I know Im not there for a guy, but the next events are going to be that of a flirtly love story, just a discliamer :)
So as he and are talking, my friend Trista shares with him that I am very into fashion and sometimes spend too much time on putting together my ensembles ;) that day i had my boots that matched my scarf that matched my hat. :) To which he replies, "As she should, she is beautiful" and "she is made in the image of Christ as well". Okay, now let me just say, I didnt even get the hint of what was going on here. I honestly thought he was just trying to make a sale and get me to buy more stuff. So Trista, being the loving friend that she is proceeds to ask, "well are you single?" and he looks at me and says, "yes, i am." Trista says, "well how do you feel about courtship?" He then gets red in the face and starts to stutter. "Well, Im Still s-s-s-seeking God on what he has for me". The girl at the booth with him then says, "well he cant date anyway, its a rule of acquire the fire". And then, he looks at me and says, "but im done in August.". Now here is the thing, I missed all of this. My friend Trista recapped later for me.
Because here is what happened in my head. I have been lead on before in my life. I have thought that there was something there and it turned out that the guy was not feeling anything for me. I have also been working on it, but still thought there was no way that this guy would be interested in someone like me.
As the night went on, we were in the last service, he was passing something out, he came and brought it to our row and looked at me with a big smile and said "hey there". Problem is, I didnt get his name or number or anything. I was too scared. I just let my insecurities get the best of me! Since the weekend, God just keeps laying him on my heart. But I have no idea how I will find him.
I just hate that because of my insecurities I missed out on what could have been great blessing in my life. I pray that if its Gods will, he will work it out that somehow Ill find him. But even if I dont, someone out there thinks Im beautiful and that gives me hope to know that God has someone for me. Weather its this man or someone else. Keep praying for me.
God is doing some AMAZING stuff!!!
Love you all!
Becky
So most of you know that this past year, for my mother, has been a very tough one. She has gone through depression, she went missing for a while, she went through times of confusion and disorientation, and none of the doctors could figure out why. She has been on many different anti depressants, and even went through some Electric Shock treatments to bring her out of what ever it was that was causing this. Through it all, though it was tough, we kept holding on and knowing that God was working and was going to show himself through this, for his Glory, not our comfort.
Well, last Friday, February 25, I was in the car getting ready to take my youth group on a ski trip when I got the call. My dad was crying on the other end. He said that my mom was being taken the the hospital for emergency surgery, they thought she had cancer of the spine. Now holding myself together, as to not scare a car full of youth, was not easy, but I did it. I went and told Luke the news, I composed myself, and we were on our way. My mom had lost the use of her legs a few days prior and had a cat scan and it showed a tumor causing the loss of her legs.
She had the surgery and came through it with flying colors! My brother and his wife and I rushed home as soon as we could, and the rest of the week, consisted of appointments and consultations with the doctors. The diagnosis...mom has B Cell Large Cell Lymphoma-a cancer that is very treatable and curable as well!
Now, while cancer is a scary and hard word to hear....in my moms case, it was Gods amazing work. You see, as they began to treat her with steroids, she came out of her depression. My mom had barely talked to us at all in the past year, in fact, most times, we didnt even think she knew or cared if we were around. But, my mom came back! She started joking with us again, she started talking to us. She is back to her old self again! The doctor told us that this cancer had been growing for quite sometime and that all that she has been through is directly correlated to the cancer. So she started Chemo, and that has been hard, but, when she is through with it, 6 treatments, and the cancer is iradicated from her body, she will be a new woman! Her back pain, that she has been suffering from for quite a while now, as completely disipated! The prayer now is that she will get the use of her legs back! She has had such trauma to her spinal cord that they cant guarantee that. While she can live a normal life without the use of her legs, its just another tough blow for her after the thousands she has already had this year! She is an AMAZING woman and an inspiration to me! God is real and working everyday! and in his way and time, his miracles are better than ANYTHING I could plan :)
Well, after that week, I came back home and got my kids ready to go on a trip to Acquire the Fire. Now, I am going to be totally honest with you here, I DIDNT WANT TO GO AT ALL!! I wanted to be at a youth ministers conference that was the same weekend. But God knew what he was doing. God moved this weekend alot. I know that he shared alot with my kids, but he shared alot with me too.
one thing that stuck out was a night during worship, the worship leader was sharing with us as we sang one of my favorite songs, Hosanna. He shared that the word means, "save us now". I began to think about this, our God is a God that saves. He loves us and he cares for us. and he wants to save us, its the basis of our relationship with him, if we didnt need to be saved, we wouldnt need him. But have I really allowed myself to be saved and enjoy the complete joy of it? I have dreamed for years that I would meet prince charming and he would come into my life, sweep me off my feet and save me and I would live happily ever after, but have I let God do that in my life?
Secondly, was the craziest turn of events that has happened to me in a long time. When we got to the event, we immedietly went upstairs and got settled and then it was time for worship. As I got into worship, I looked around for a minute, because I noticed that this guy was walking around our section just praying for our kids. I realized that this is something they assign many staff to do. But it touched my heart, these people were praying for me and for my kids :) God drew my attention to the young gentlemen praying for us, God just drew my attention and simply whispered, pray for him and remember him. So, I did.
Throughout the weekend, this guy was in our section, he prayed with some of our kids and passed out things to us when we needed them. At one point, our group wanted to adopt a child from Compassion International, so as we raised our hands, he brought us our packet, and of course the question I am used to by now, "sure, you can have one, but where is your youth leader?" I just smiled and said, "oh thats me". He smiled and said, "great!" This was the first interaction we had. And I just kept reminding myself, God told me to remember this guy.
As we broke from our session, my friend Trista, who has become one of my bestfriends, and had come to help chaperone for the week, went with me to look for shirts to buy. Now let me explain, I had been to this booth 3 times already, I really wanted a shirt and kept hoping theyd get my size, but they never did. So we went up once more, so I could pick another one. I was being ever so careful to pick, because we all know how I am with fashion :) As we were at the booth, this guy comes up. He immedietly begins talking to us. Sharing with me how much he loves Leeland, because I had just purchased an irish looking Leeland wristband. I love LEELAND! So as he comments, I share with him that while I love the band, I also got it for my irish heritage which I am so VERY PROUD of :) He told me I was rocking it very well, and began to flirt. Okay, I know Im not there for a guy, but the next events are going to be that of a flirtly love story, just a discliamer :)
So as he and are talking, my friend Trista shares with him that I am very into fashion and sometimes spend too much time on putting together my ensembles ;) that day i had my boots that matched my scarf that matched my hat. :) To which he replies, "As she should, she is beautiful" and "she is made in the image of Christ as well". Okay, now let me just say, I didnt even get the hint of what was going on here. I honestly thought he was just trying to make a sale and get me to buy more stuff. So Trista, being the loving friend that she is proceeds to ask, "well are you single?" and he looks at me and says, "yes, i am." Trista says, "well how do you feel about courtship?" He then gets red in the face and starts to stutter. "Well, Im Still s-s-s-seeking God on what he has for me". The girl at the booth with him then says, "well he cant date anyway, its a rule of acquire the fire". And then, he looks at me and says, "but im done in August.". Now here is the thing, I missed all of this. My friend Trista recapped later for me.
Because here is what happened in my head. I have been lead on before in my life. I have thought that there was something there and it turned out that the guy was not feeling anything for me. I have also been working on it, but still thought there was no way that this guy would be interested in someone like me.
As the night went on, we were in the last service, he was passing something out, he came and brought it to our row and looked at me with a big smile and said "hey there". Problem is, I didnt get his name or number or anything. I was too scared. I just let my insecurities get the best of me! Since the weekend, God just keeps laying him on my heart. But I have no idea how I will find him.
I just hate that because of my insecurities I missed out on what could have been great blessing in my life. I pray that if its Gods will, he will work it out that somehow Ill find him. But even if I dont, someone out there thinks Im beautiful and that gives me hope to know that God has someone for me. Weather its this man or someone else. Keep praying for me.
God is doing some AMAZING stuff!!!
Love you all!
Becky
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Okay. so I have been pretty behind on this whole 30 day challenge, and since its a slow day at work for me, I am going to catch up a little bit. Then its off to go to the new house and get things ready so i can start moving! so ready for a house and not an apartment and a roommate!
anyways....back to the challenge at hand. Okay, so the challenge was to post a picture of someone you have been close to for a long time and then write about them and why you are so close. Well, I couldnt pick just one, so I picked several.
Of course, my brother. He and I have always been bestfriends. This year has been a trying one for us, but he is still my bestfriend and I love him very much. We have been through alot together. We have some really fun memories and some really tough ones, but we have them together and thats what matters.
Shannon Hora, my bestfriend. I have posted about her several times. She has been my bestie since we were in college. its been almost 10 years now! She is a friend I know will be my friend for the rest of my life, no matter where we go in life, she and I will always be friends!!
I posted a picture of me and my daddy. I have always been a daddys girl. Moving here, one of the hardest things was knowing that I would be physically close to my daddy anymore. I wouldnt have the option to go and see him everyday. My dad and i have been close since I was born. When I was very little, he worked in the factory and was laid off work several times, which meant I got to spend LOTS of time with my daddy. We would play, read books, watch movies, go on walks, go to the candy store everyday for my favorite, "red candy"-licorice. He would hide change around the house and we would go on a hunt together for money and then walk to the candy store together. I still talk to my daddy everyday on the phone.
I also posted a picture of both of my parents, because my mom and i are close too. I miss her so much. She is a great woman. We have had so many great talks and lots of great memories together. We love to sing together. Shes an AMAZING woman!!
I posted a picture of me and my meggie! "bestfriend"...that was what we called each other. I have not physically seen Meggan for over a year. But...she is a true friend, because it doesnt matter how long its been, when we talk on the phone, its like no time has passed at all. We can pick right up where we left off. We can still talk about One Tree Hill and how much I am like Brooke Davis. We can talk about her "ugly bridesmaids dress" for an upcoming wedding, while she is going to be VERY pregnant and look like a huge watermelon. and we can talk about the serious stuff too! She is a great friend.
Melissa is another one of my bestfriends. We only get to see each other a couple times a year, but we talk on the phone and facebook very often and keep up with each others lives, and I know that we are very important to each other and very close.
Trista...she is a friend that I talk to EVERYDAY these days. She is my bestfriend here in Sumner. Since the day I moved here, we have had a connection and have been super close. I am very thankful for her in my life, God has truly gifted me with an amazing friend in her. I have alot of great friends here in Sumner, but Trista is just that friend that I know I have a special bond with. I can share ANYTHING with her and she doesnt judge me. and I am able to be there for her too. She gives me encouragement and hope for the future as we deal with some of the same issues in life together.
Jalisa is someone who went from being a girl in counseled at camp, to a fellow counselor, to one of my closest friends. We dont see each other much, as she lives in MN, but we talk often and I know that she loves me no matter what. As I do her.
I could go on and on and fill this blog with pictures and paragraphs about the people God has blessed me with in life. But these are the ones that stuck out to me right now. My family, and my very bestfriends.....those are the people that I consider close to my heart :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
30 days...
So on facebook, there is this 30 days challenge thing. You post a picture and write something about it for the next 30 days. So i decided that I would post it here on my blog and then link to my facebook, that way all my followers can read it, and also, my facebook friends can see it too :) so the first day is that you post a picture of yourself and then write 15 things about yourself....so here goes...
1. My full name is Rebecca Dawn Canny- My name is one that my mom picked out when she was just a little girl.
2. I have a little brother, his name is Bryan Edward Canny. He is 2 years younger than me. He is one of my bestfriends and I like to think I taught him much of what he knows, but the truth is, he has taught me many things too.
3. I am 29 years old, and I have never been kissed in my life, I have never been to a dance, and I have never even been on a date. I guess I just have been waiting for the write guy to come along. So when he comes, he has ALOT to live up to, after waiting for this long :)
4. Even though I am 29 years old, I LOVE the Jonas Brothers. Nick has one of the most amazing voices EVER! Joe is so funny. Kevin is very loving. and all of them have incredible Christian and Family values.
5. GLEE is the MOST AMAZING show in the world! I dream about having the chance to be on it at some point in my life.
6. I have dreamed for years about having a family of my own and have already picked out names for the children Id like to one day have. I wont share them, because I dont want anyone to steal them :)
7. I have already picked out who will be the bridesmaids when I finally get the chance to marry the man of my dreams. Shannon Hora, Meggan Schwirtz, Melissa Johnson, Trista Calonder, Molly Canny, Abby Treiber, Jalisa Negley.
8. I have several places picked out for dream dates in my life and I really hope that when I meet the right guy, I get to go on EVERY ONE of them :)
*DisneyLAND- NOT WORLD- LAND. For some reason, going to California is a HUGE deal to me. At Christmas time so I can see all the Christmas decorations and so I can see the Christmas Parade too.
*Rockefeller Center at Christmas Time to see the Big Tree and shop in New York City.
*Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
9. I want to realase my own album someday and become famous. Not so that I can have all the money, but so that I can reach as many people as possible for the kingdom of Christ. AND so that I can have someone who will clean my house for me and my car too :)
10. I have a HUGE FEAR of squirrels, and am deathly afraid of them. Even after Dan Fassler tried to cure my of it by putting a live one in my room during college.
11. I want to write my own book someday and go around speaking and encouraging teenagers about the AMAZING things God has for them in their lives.
12. My parents are some of the MOST AMAZING people in the world and I love them with all my heart. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to move away from them, which is why it took me 28 years, before I could actually do it :0)
13. My favorite place in the world to be is at Red Rock Camp, I have some of the best friends in the world there and other than my own family, they are the BEST family in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
14. I often think about what celebrities I would like to sing duets with:
Nick Jonas
Mark Salling (Puck from Glee)
Cory Monteith (Finn from Glee)
Chord Overstreet (Sam from Glee)
Kevin Mc Hale (Artie from Glee)
Matt Morrison (Mr. Shuster from Glee)
Okay, pretty much any of the guys from GLEE and Nick Jonas :) I think that there are a few others too, but you get the idea, I want to sing with some celebrities :)
15. I LOVE CANDY. I am like a little kid sometimes....but I LOVE IT!!! My favorites are:
Lemon Heads
Starburts- all flavors
ANYTHING CHOCOLATE
Sour Patch Kids.
BONUSES:
16. My favorite foods are:
Frozen Pizza
Macaroni and Cheese
Chocolate Ice Cream
Strawberry Banana Smoothies from Mc Donalds
Mashed Potatoes
Fried Chicken
17. My favorite kind of pop:
CHERRY Dr. Pepper
Orange Soda
18. My favorite Video Games
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario Brothers 3
Dance Dance Revolution
Sing Star
Just Dance
Karaoke Revolution
19. I have always wanted to go to a Karaoke place with friends, but none of them will go with me, because they think I will show them up.
20. I have a facination with owls, because my brother loves them, and so when I see things with owls on them, I buy it, as a memory of him.
21. I just learned how to play the Jimbaye(a drum you play with your hands) and I LOVE playing it.
22. I want to learn how to play the piano alot better than I can right now, so I can write my own music. I want to learn the guitar too.
23. I love watching Disney Channel.
24. I am addicted to drama and funny shows on TV. My favorites include, Modern Family, The Middle, Scrubs, Traffic Light, Raising Hope, GLEE, One Tree Hill, The Office, Parenthood, Perfect Couples, 30 Rock, Outsourced, Community, Parks and Recreation, Law and Order SVU, Still Standing, 8 Simple Rules, My Wife and Kids, Full House, I love the old shows and the new shows.
25. I have not grown since I was in 5th grade. I am 4'11'' and I wear size 4 or 5 shoes, in childrens. and I have to wear childrens gloves to fit my hands.
26. I have a partial Masters in Counseling, and would someday maybe like to go back and finish it up.
27. I have a BA in Youth Ministries and LOVE what I do for a living, as a full time youth pastor. I feel that they are the future of our world and I love that I get a chance to invest in their lives.
28. I dont know how to swim and am hugely afraid of large bodies of water.
29. My favorite Bible Verse is: Proverbs 3:5-6- Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways awknowledge him and he will direct your paths.
30. My favorite song in the world is, "His Eye is on the Sparrow". Because its my moms favorite and she used to sing it to us every night when she would sing me to sleep. In fact, I often think back to those times and hope to one day sing to my children the way she sang to me.
Well, there you go, you know MORE than 15 things about me, infact, I gave you 15 bonuses, arent you lucky :) That is the most I have shared my dreams in a long time, and to be honest, it feels good to dream again and believe that these things might actually come true :)
I love you all!!!!
Becky
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Its NOT about ME!!
I am going to write part 2 of the friendship blog, here in the next few days. Still something Im really thinking about and is on my heart, but I have something else that I need to share and talk about right now. Something that God has been really impressing on me the past 2 weeks. I started taking the class called, PERSPECTIVES. It is a class about Missions, actually, it is a class about who God really is and the call that he has placed on each of our lives. In this class, I have learned many things. Not just through the class though, or even the homework. Its something God has been stirring in my heart for months now.
Yesterday was my birthday, the big 2-9. My last year of my 20s! AHHHH!!! I am getting so old!!! It was fun, had lots of friends by my side. But I couldnt help but continually thinking about my mom. It was about a year ago, around the time of my birthday last year, when my mom started going through her depression. Now, as I have said before, she has dealt with it all of her life, but last year at this time, was when her most recent bout started. Just 2 weeks later she was in a horrible car accident, after trying to kill herself and was hospitalized for 7 weeks. She went through alot of physical health problems at this time along with mental health issues. Since then, it has been a roller coaster. She has had up times and down times. All I really wanted for my birthday yesterday was to get a call that she had been miracuosly healed. That she was talking and laughing again and that she was herself again. This, however, was not the case. And I will be honest and say, I was mad at God for a while yesterday. I thought, cant you even give me one good present? Cant you give me something good? Can I just have my mom back, and can I just not live alone anymore? And can I just meet the man of my dreams? And.....on and on and on. But you know what, ITS NOT ABOUT ME!! None of it is!!
While I know that God loves me and has a plan for me that I couldnt even begin to fathom, NONE of this life is about me. When he created the World and when he wrote the Bible, it was about worshipping him! ITS ABOUT HIM!! All of it. My mom will be healed in HIS ways and in HIS time, and for HIS GLORY. I will find the man of my dreams, in GODS timing, when HE is ready and when HE shows me who that man is that HE has created just for me, and I for him.
I have been reading alot more than ever lately, partly for class, partly for lesson planning, mostly, because for the first time in my life, I have a passion to devour the word of God and truly know him more, to love him more than I do. One book I have been reading is called, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, I love it, because its like the journey that God took him on and is taking him on, is so parallel to the one that I am starting on, Im so glad that he wrote books and made videos of this time, God inspired him to do that, and I think we can all learn from that. In one of his books, he quotes A.W. Tozer, who is also a great author and theologian. Tozer says that "what you think about God, is the most important thing about you". Think about that, what I think about God, is the most important thing about me? Now why is that? I think its several things. First of all, because how I think of him and react to him, is reflected in my everyday life. The question I have been asking myself is this, do I even think enough about God?
Chan made these videos to go along with the book he wrote, and in one of them he takes a stick and he writes the name of God in the sand, he procedes to talk about God, who he really is, what he has done. Why we should be in awe of him, and then he says, but who is he to you? Or is he just a name in the sand? And I have been thinking about that all day. Because not for one second do I just want God to be a name in the sand to me. But, has he become that in my life? Have I known him for so long, that he is just another person in my life, just another name. Am I even in awe of him and his greatness. Or do I just expect him to be there in my life, and get angry when hes not, or offer a 30 second praise when he does something I like? I have to say, that until recently, he has been just that to me, just a name in the sand. I have heard the stories of Jesus so many times, I dont even listen to them anymore. I have sung so many songs about him and his power, I dont even know if I believe it anymore. I have prayed so many prayers, and I dont even know if I expect them to come true anymore. WHO IS GOD TO ME! And why have I made it all about ME for so long?
I want to know him more, I want to love him more, I vow that from this point on, God is and will always be much more than a name in the sand to me!!! HOw about you?
Love
Becky
Yesterday was my birthday, the big 2-9. My last year of my 20s! AHHHH!!! I am getting so old!!! It was fun, had lots of friends by my side. But I couldnt help but continually thinking about my mom. It was about a year ago, around the time of my birthday last year, when my mom started going through her depression. Now, as I have said before, she has dealt with it all of her life, but last year at this time, was when her most recent bout started. Just 2 weeks later she was in a horrible car accident, after trying to kill herself and was hospitalized for 7 weeks. She went through alot of physical health problems at this time along with mental health issues. Since then, it has been a roller coaster. She has had up times and down times. All I really wanted for my birthday yesterday was to get a call that she had been miracuosly healed. That she was talking and laughing again and that she was herself again. This, however, was not the case. And I will be honest and say, I was mad at God for a while yesterday. I thought, cant you even give me one good present? Cant you give me something good? Can I just have my mom back, and can I just not live alone anymore? And can I just meet the man of my dreams? And.....on and on and on. But you know what, ITS NOT ABOUT ME!! None of it is!!
While I know that God loves me and has a plan for me that I couldnt even begin to fathom, NONE of this life is about me. When he created the World and when he wrote the Bible, it was about worshipping him! ITS ABOUT HIM!! All of it. My mom will be healed in HIS ways and in HIS time, and for HIS GLORY. I will find the man of my dreams, in GODS timing, when HE is ready and when HE shows me who that man is that HE has created just for me, and I for him.
I have been reading alot more than ever lately, partly for class, partly for lesson planning, mostly, because for the first time in my life, I have a passion to devour the word of God and truly know him more, to love him more than I do. One book I have been reading is called, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, I love it, because its like the journey that God took him on and is taking him on, is so parallel to the one that I am starting on, Im so glad that he wrote books and made videos of this time, God inspired him to do that, and I think we can all learn from that. In one of his books, he quotes A.W. Tozer, who is also a great author and theologian. Tozer says that "what you think about God, is the most important thing about you". Think about that, what I think about God, is the most important thing about me? Now why is that? I think its several things. First of all, because how I think of him and react to him, is reflected in my everyday life. The question I have been asking myself is this, do I even think enough about God?
Chan made these videos to go along with the book he wrote, and in one of them he takes a stick and he writes the name of God in the sand, he procedes to talk about God, who he really is, what he has done. Why we should be in awe of him, and then he says, but who is he to you? Or is he just a name in the sand? And I have been thinking about that all day. Because not for one second do I just want God to be a name in the sand to me. But, has he become that in my life? Have I known him for so long, that he is just another person in my life, just another name. Am I even in awe of him and his greatness. Or do I just expect him to be there in my life, and get angry when hes not, or offer a 30 second praise when he does something I like? I have to say, that until recently, he has been just that to me, just a name in the sand. I have heard the stories of Jesus so many times, I dont even listen to them anymore. I have sung so many songs about him and his power, I dont even know if I believe it anymore. I have prayed so many prayers, and I dont even know if I expect them to come true anymore. WHO IS GOD TO ME! And why have I made it all about ME for so long?
I want to know him more, I want to love him more, I vow that from this point on, God is and will always be much more than a name in the sand to me!!! HOw about you?
Love
Becky
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Friends are Friends Forever Part 2
Okay, so as promised, part 2 of the blog:
Shannon. Shannon and I have been very close since college. I graduated from college in 2005. We went to Vennard College together for a few years. We actually met at a summer camp during my freshman year of college, her senior year of high school. She came to Vennard the following fall, she was a freshman, I was a sophmore, we lived down the hall from each other, and while I tease her alot, I thought that she hated me at camp. I was a counselor and I just thought that she and her friends hated me. I really have no basis for this thought at all. Other than, I had very low self esteem and probably just assumed that she didnt like me. None the less, when she got to college, we became fast friends. We would stay up late at night in the dorm, Shannon, Me, and Jill, our rooms were almost right in order down the hallway of the 2nd floor of the dorm, just one girl in between shannon and my rooms, lavonne, I always felt bad for her, because the 3 of us girls were night owls, we loved to stay up late, not studying or anything crazy like that. No, we liked to laugh and joke. If i told you of some of the things we talked about or games we made up, youd think we were crazy, which we probably were! But, we were bestfriends! Shannon got married while we were still in college and moved out of the dorm. This was a hard time for me, because now she lived in a house across town, and so we didnt get to have our late nights in the dorm. Id still drive over and be at her house until very late at night, but I missed her in the dorm. After college, we both remained in the same town. Shannons senior year, she asked me to be in her Senior Chapel, this was right after quite a difficult time in her life, which I am not going to disclose here. She went through some tough times, and I as a friend, tried to be there for her as much as I possibly could. She did an amazing job speaking! I was so proud of her! To this day, I am still very proud of her. Shannon and I dont live in the same town anymore, and sometimes I miss being able to drive across town when I want to see her. I miss having someone who just knows me inside and out and how I am feeling before I even tell her. Someone who often times, feels the same way I do about about things. Shannon is the true definition of a friend. She is someone who has loved me not in spite of all of my short comings, but rather, BECAUSE of them. She loves me for exactly the person that I am and has never expected me to be someone different. She has spurred me on at times to be someone greater than I am allowing myself to be and she has supported me when noone else did. She has been there through the tough times of life that I didnt want to share with anyone else. And she inspires me each day to be a better person. She pushes me to grow closer to God and to follow his heart.
Meggan is another friend from college. Meggan and I, are a little bit more alike than Shannon and I. That is, we both love pop music, we both love fashion, and in college, we were both pretty boy crazy, I, admittedly, much more than she! Meggan and I would have overnighters all the time! Shed sleep on one of the bed and me on the other, someone always had a foot in their face :) but we somehow didnt care! Meggan always makes me laugh. and Meggan has always thought more of me than I have of myself. She has always seen something greater in me than I have seen in myself. Meggan is that friend, that now, lives hours away from me. She lives 6 hours away from me right now :( but, she is the friend who, no matter how much distance or time has passed between us, we always pick back up right where we left off! I remember 2 summers ago, it had been quite a while since we had seen each other, and we were asked to counsel at a camp together, just the 2 of us girls! and I LOVED IT!! We stayed up late at night, after our girls went to bed and we just talked. Like old times. This summer, when my mom went missing for a few days, Meggan got right on the phone and in tears asked me if there was anything she could do and scolded me for not calling to talk to her about things before they got to this point. She wanted to be there for me, and I had, in a sense, robbed her of that chance. Meggan is another TRUE friend. She has always been there for me. She has always cared for me. She is a "forever friend" if you will. Someone I know, that for the rest of my life, she will always been in my "top 5 friends list". Yes I have one of those :) But Meggan is definetly one of those.
WOW!!! This is kinda fun for me! Hope you guys are still tracking with me, I still have a few more and then I am going to tell you why I did this at the end :)
Melissa. Melissa is a friend from Red Rock Camp. It is hard for me to remember how long we have known each other at this point. I would say at least 5 years, probably 7 years actually. At any rate...Melissa is like a long lost friend, that I wish I would have known for many more years of my life than I have. Melissa is someone who I can lean on. She is someone who doesnt judge me. She loves me for exactly who I am and would not expect me to be anything else around her. Melissa and I live about 3 hours apart, but the distance doesnt keep us from being close. Melissa is the type of friend who calls just to see how I am doing. Who genuinely cares about me and my well being. She wants the best for me in life. And I am SO THANKFUL for that!! Melissa is someone who is a good listener, but she is always someone who allows me to share in her hurts and pains with her, and someone who shares the joys with me too!!! Shes just a great friend! When I have worries or anxiety, she doesnt think Im crazy, in fact, she understands and tries to help me through it!
Trista. Trista is someone who I have not known for that long. Actually, I just met her when I moved here to Sumner. She has been AMAZING though, and has made this move one that has been easy. You see, I told you that I was scared about moving here and finding genuine friends, Trista is one of those to me! She allows me to be completely myself around her. She is one of the few people in my life who I am able to tell EVERYTHING to. I mean EVERYTHING! Her 15 year old son said to me the other day, "I think you and my mom are long lost sisters", and I will be honest with you, I think he could be right! This year, as I was diagnosed with PCOS, I thought it was the end of the world, I didnt feel like I would have anyone to talk to about it, because noone would understand, God blessed me with Trista! She has it too! I can share this here, because God has done some amazing miracles in her life through it! When I was diagnosed, the doctor informed me, that it may be that when the time came and I was married and ready for children, I just might not be able to have them. I was DEVESTATED! I have always dreamed of being a wife and a mom...and that dream seemed to have been shot down. But as I sit with Trista, in her home, having heard that her doctor said the same thing, God has assured me he is BIGGER! Because, we sit in her home, with her 15 year old son, her 7 year old son, her 3 triplet sons, and her beautiful daughter, and I see that with God it is all possible! She is an amazing mother who I am blessed to know and model some of my life after! She is someone who knows and understands this thing I deal with, when I thought noone else would! We can sit and talk for hours in her house, on the phone. We just talk! Shes an inspiration to me and she is someone who, has dreams for me just as I have dreams for myself. She wants to see me happy and she wants to see me succeed.
These 4 women have been AMAZING inspirations in my life! I am sharing these women, because I know we all have these people in our lives, those people who make us better and stronger. Without them in our lives, we would not be the same. I also want you to see and understand this, I have had the priviledge and chance to also BE friend to many people. So while this post, I shared with you those who have poured in to me, and these are just 4 of MANY people who have poured in to me, next post, about friendship, I am going to share with you some of those people who God has blessed me and allowed me to impact. Not in a conceded way at all, more in a way of humbleness, that God allowed me to be a part of his plan. THat he chose to use me and bless me through that! How great a gift!
I also want to share in other posts more of those people who have poured in to me, so look for your name in future posts :) To all of you who have been my friends, who have taken the time to pour into my life, I want to say, THANK YOU! You have made me who I am today, and you continue to spur me on to make myself a better person each day of my life. I am blessed because you are part of my life! I will never be the same because of you in my life. Lets continue to serve and love our GOD together!
Shannon. Shannon and I have been very close since college. I graduated from college in 2005. We went to Vennard College together for a few years. We actually met at a summer camp during my freshman year of college, her senior year of high school. She came to Vennard the following fall, she was a freshman, I was a sophmore, we lived down the hall from each other, and while I tease her alot, I thought that she hated me at camp. I was a counselor and I just thought that she and her friends hated me. I really have no basis for this thought at all. Other than, I had very low self esteem and probably just assumed that she didnt like me. None the less, when she got to college, we became fast friends. We would stay up late at night in the dorm, Shannon, Me, and Jill, our rooms were almost right in order down the hallway of the 2nd floor of the dorm, just one girl in between shannon and my rooms, lavonne, I always felt bad for her, because the 3 of us girls were night owls, we loved to stay up late, not studying or anything crazy like that. No, we liked to laugh and joke. If i told you of some of the things we talked about or games we made up, youd think we were crazy, which we probably were! But, we were bestfriends! Shannon got married while we were still in college and moved out of the dorm. This was a hard time for me, because now she lived in a house across town, and so we didnt get to have our late nights in the dorm. Id still drive over and be at her house until very late at night, but I missed her in the dorm. After college, we both remained in the same town. Shannons senior year, she asked me to be in her Senior Chapel, this was right after quite a difficult time in her life, which I am not going to disclose here. She went through some tough times, and I as a friend, tried to be there for her as much as I possibly could. She did an amazing job speaking! I was so proud of her! To this day, I am still very proud of her. Shannon and I dont live in the same town anymore, and sometimes I miss being able to drive across town when I want to see her. I miss having someone who just knows me inside and out and how I am feeling before I even tell her. Someone who often times, feels the same way I do about about things. Shannon is the true definition of a friend. She is someone who has loved me not in spite of all of my short comings, but rather, BECAUSE of them. She loves me for exactly the person that I am and has never expected me to be someone different. She has spurred me on at times to be someone greater than I am allowing myself to be and she has supported me when noone else did. She has been there through the tough times of life that I didnt want to share with anyone else. And she inspires me each day to be a better person. She pushes me to grow closer to God and to follow his heart.
Meggan is another friend from college. Meggan and I, are a little bit more alike than Shannon and I. That is, we both love pop music, we both love fashion, and in college, we were both pretty boy crazy, I, admittedly, much more than she! Meggan and I would have overnighters all the time! Shed sleep on one of the bed and me on the other, someone always had a foot in their face :) but we somehow didnt care! Meggan always makes me laugh. and Meggan has always thought more of me than I have of myself. She has always seen something greater in me than I have seen in myself. Meggan is that friend, that now, lives hours away from me. She lives 6 hours away from me right now :( but, she is the friend who, no matter how much distance or time has passed between us, we always pick back up right where we left off! I remember 2 summers ago, it had been quite a while since we had seen each other, and we were asked to counsel at a camp together, just the 2 of us girls! and I LOVED IT!! We stayed up late at night, after our girls went to bed and we just talked. Like old times. This summer, when my mom went missing for a few days, Meggan got right on the phone and in tears asked me if there was anything she could do and scolded me for not calling to talk to her about things before they got to this point. She wanted to be there for me, and I had, in a sense, robbed her of that chance. Meggan is another TRUE friend. She has always been there for me. She has always cared for me. She is a "forever friend" if you will. Someone I know, that for the rest of my life, she will always been in my "top 5 friends list". Yes I have one of those :) But Meggan is definetly one of those.
WOW!!! This is kinda fun for me! Hope you guys are still tracking with me, I still have a few more and then I am going to tell you why I did this at the end :)
Melissa. Melissa is a friend from Red Rock Camp. It is hard for me to remember how long we have known each other at this point. I would say at least 5 years, probably 7 years actually. At any rate...Melissa is like a long lost friend, that I wish I would have known for many more years of my life than I have. Melissa is someone who I can lean on. She is someone who doesnt judge me. She loves me for exactly who I am and would not expect me to be anything else around her. Melissa and I live about 3 hours apart, but the distance doesnt keep us from being close. Melissa is the type of friend who calls just to see how I am doing. Who genuinely cares about me and my well being. She wants the best for me in life. And I am SO THANKFUL for that!! Melissa is someone who is a good listener, but she is always someone who allows me to share in her hurts and pains with her, and someone who shares the joys with me too!!! Shes just a great friend! When I have worries or anxiety, she doesnt think Im crazy, in fact, she understands and tries to help me through it!
Trista. Trista is someone who I have not known for that long. Actually, I just met her when I moved here to Sumner. She has been AMAZING though, and has made this move one that has been easy. You see, I told you that I was scared about moving here and finding genuine friends, Trista is one of those to me! She allows me to be completely myself around her. She is one of the few people in my life who I am able to tell EVERYTHING to. I mean EVERYTHING! Her 15 year old son said to me the other day, "I think you and my mom are long lost sisters", and I will be honest with you, I think he could be right! This year, as I was diagnosed with PCOS, I thought it was the end of the world, I didnt feel like I would have anyone to talk to about it, because noone would understand, God blessed me with Trista! She has it too! I can share this here, because God has done some amazing miracles in her life through it! When I was diagnosed, the doctor informed me, that it may be that when the time came and I was married and ready for children, I just might not be able to have them. I was DEVESTATED! I have always dreamed of being a wife and a mom...and that dream seemed to have been shot down. But as I sit with Trista, in her home, having heard that her doctor said the same thing, God has assured me he is BIGGER! Because, we sit in her home, with her 15 year old son, her 7 year old son, her 3 triplet sons, and her beautiful daughter, and I see that with God it is all possible! She is an amazing mother who I am blessed to know and model some of my life after! She is someone who knows and understands this thing I deal with, when I thought noone else would! We can sit and talk for hours in her house, on the phone. We just talk! Shes an inspiration to me and she is someone who, has dreams for me just as I have dreams for myself. She wants to see me happy and she wants to see me succeed.
These 4 women have been AMAZING inspirations in my life! I am sharing these women, because I know we all have these people in our lives, those people who make us better and stronger. Without them in our lives, we would not be the same. I also want you to see and understand this, I have had the priviledge and chance to also BE friend to many people. So while this post, I shared with you those who have poured in to me, and these are just 4 of MANY people who have poured in to me, next post, about friendship, I am going to share with you some of those people who God has blessed me and allowed me to impact. Not in a conceded way at all, more in a way of humbleness, that God allowed me to be a part of his plan. THat he chose to use me and bless me through that! How great a gift!
I also want to share in other posts more of those people who have poured in to me, so look for your name in future posts :) To all of you who have been my friends, who have taken the time to pour into my life, I want to say, THANK YOU! You have made me who I am today, and you continue to spur me on to make myself a better person each day of my life. I am blessed because you are part of my life! I will never be the same because of you in my life. Lets continue to serve and love our GOD together!
Friends are Friends Forever....right???
I LOVE my new job!!! I just have to tell you that right now. I started here in October, and I will be the first to admit to you, it is not been all candy and roses, there have been some big ups and downs. I had to make a big choice in moving to Sumner. To move away from my hometown, where I have lived all of my life. To leave my daddy, living all alone, while my mom recovers in a rehabilition care center. To leave my mom and drive further away from her, making it impossible for me to visit her often. Alot of sacrifice. To coming here, where, while I knew people from visiting this church before, I had no real ties of friendship, that I knew I had people I could fully trust to share my life with. To living in an apartment, alone, with no family and no roomates, which I have never done before, and to be honest, I HATE! I love having people around me, Im actually one of those people who doesnt like much time of silence or aloneness, oh I need it sometimes, but I dont really thrive on it. To meeting and getting to know 30-40 new youth and what makes them tick and what ministry works best for them. And finally, getting to know my God, which to be honest, I dont even feel like I have known that well until now.
Alot of hard and rough times, all of which, have brought me down on my face before God and all of which I wouldnt trade for the World, because it has brought me to a place before God, in which I have never been before. Wow, what a back story to the actualy blog of today :)
So....as I said, I LOVE my new job! I love the high school girls that I get to minister to and the fun we have and also the deep conversations we have. I love the high school guys we have, and the fact that somehow, God has wired me in such a way, that I am able to have good ministry with guys as well as girls. I enjoy learning about new xbox games, watching wrestling, as in the high school sport, which is actually a very enjoyable sport for me to watch right now, never thought id say that, I love watching and hearing about their basketball games. and talking sports with them, lets be honest, I know next to nothing about sports, as any of you who know me at all would know well, but I have a confession, Im starting to like sports! I LOVE watching football. I am starting to like baseball...weird, I know. and EVEN Basketball, which to those of you who were in college with me, I mean the sport, not just the guys anymore :) And I love my ministry with the middle schoolers. The middle school boys make me laugh so much, oh they can be crazy and hyper and times, im not a saint, sometimes they can even try my patience :O), but I LOVE their craziness! and my middle school girls, right now, this might be my favorite part of the ministry, which to be honest with you, is not typical of me at all. I have always LOVED high school ministry, thrived on it. and I still have that here, but wow, my middle school girls, they are amazing!!!
We have a middle school girls Bible Study on Tuesday Nights, and we are talking about Friendship now. I am loving preparing lessons for the different groups I teach now, first of all, because I do love teaching, and second, because I also learn from what I am teaching. I feel like some of my best lessons come out of what I have already learned or am learning right now. So, friendship. I have been thinking about it all week, what does it mean to be a friend? Who are my closest friends? How important is friendship in my life? How important is it to God? So, I wanted to jot down some of my thoughts about it.
I asked alot of my friends these same questions and will be using their responses throughout this series of lessons we are doing. The 2 most common answers I got were these, a true friend is someone who I can fully be myself around and I dont have to be anything but myself. and the other was, a true friend is someone who, even if you dont talk to or see each other every day, is there and you can pick up with them right where you left off, as if no time has passed at all. I want to share with you, some of my closest friends and why they are people in treasure in my life. DISCLAIMER: If your name does not show up, please know that you are still important to me, I just dont think anyone would read a 5000 page blog for me to write all of that, as this is already a very long blog. :) so, you will have to join in to part 2, where I share with you, some of my closest friends and my thoughts on friendship.
Love you all.
Becky
Alot of hard and rough times, all of which, have brought me down on my face before God and all of which I wouldnt trade for the World, because it has brought me to a place before God, in which I have never been before. Wow, what a back story to the actualy blog of today :)
So....as I said, I LOVE my new job! I love the high school girls that I get to minister to and the fun we have and also the deep conversations we have. I love the high school guys we have, and the fact that somehow, God has wired me in such a way, that I am able to have good ministry with guys as well as girls. I enjoy learning about new xbox games, watching wrestling, as in the high school sport, which is actually a very enjoyable sport for me to watch right now, never thought id say that, I love watching and hearing about their basketball games. and talking sports with them, lets be honest, I know next to nothing about sports, as any of you who know me at all would know well, but I have a confession, Im starting to like sports! I LOVE watching football. I am starting to like baseball...weird, I know. and EVEN Basketball, which to those of you who were in college with me, I mean the sport, not just the guys anymore :) And I love my ministry with the middle schoolers. The middle school boys make me laugh so much, oh they can be crazy and hyper and times, im not a saint, sometimes they can even try my patience :O), but I LOVE their craziness! and my middle school girls, right now, this might be my favorite part of the ministry, which to be honest with you, is not typical of me at all. I have always LOVED high school ministry, thrived on it. and I still have that here, but wow, my middle school girls, they are amazing!!!
We have a middle school girls Bible Study on Tuesday Nights, and we are talking about Friendship now. I am loving preparing lessons for the different groups I teach now, first of all, because I do love teaching, and second, because I also learn from what I am teaching. I feel like some of my best lessons come out of what I have already learned or am learning right now. So, friendship. I have been thinking about it all week, what does it mean to be a friend? Who are my closest friends? How important is friendship in my life? How important is it to God? So, I wanted to jot down some of my thoughts about it.
I asked alot of my friends these same questions and will be using their responses throughout this series of lessons we are doing. The 2 most common answers I got were these, a true friend is someone who I can fully be myself around and I dont have to be anything but myself. and the other was, a true friend is someone who, even if you dont talk to or see each other every day, is there and you can pick up with them right where you left off, as if no time has passed at all. I want to share with you, some of my closest friends and why they are people in treasure in my life. DISCLAIMER: If your name does not show up, please know that you are still important to me, I just dont think anyone would read a 5000 page blog for me to write all of that, as this is already a very long blog. :) so, you will have to join in to part 2, where I share with you, some of my closest friends and my thoughts on friendship.
Love you all.
Becky
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