This weekend.....

Okay....so just as I thought, I got busy and was not able to do all the 30 days. I may come back to them later. But right now, I am going to talk about my weekend. Actually, let me go back and discuss the last 2 weeks and the whirlwind and craziness God has been working with us through!

So most of you know that this past year, for my mother, has been a very tough one. She has gone through depression, she went missing for a while, she went through times of confusion and disorientation, and none of the doctors could figure out why. She has been on many different anti depressants, and even went through some Electric Shock treatments to bring her out of what ever it was that was causing this. Through it all, though it was tough, we kept holding on and knowing that God was working and was going to show himself through this, for his Glory, not our comfort.

Well, last Friday, February 25, I was in the car getting ready to take my youth group on a ski trip when I got the call. My dad was crying on the other end. He said that my mom was being taken the the hospital for emergency surgery, they thought she had cancer of the spine. Now holding myself together, as to not scare a car full of youth, was not easy, but I did it. I went and told Luke the news, I composed myself, and we were on our way. My mom had lost the use of her legs a few days prior and had a cat scan and it showed a tumor causing the loss of her legs.

She had the surgery and came through it with flying colors! My brother and his wife and I rushed home as soon as we could, and the rest of the week, consisted of appointments and consultations with the doctors. The diagnosis...mom has B Cell Large Cell Lymphoma-a cancer that is very treatable and curable as well!

Now, while cancer is a scary and hard word to hear....in my moms case, it was Gods amazing work. You see, as they began to treat her with steroids, she came out of her depression. My mom had barely talked to us at all in the past year, in fact, most times, we didnt even think she knew or cared if we were around. But, my mom came back! She started joking with us again, she started talking to us. She is back to her old self again! The doctor told us that this cancer had been growing for quite sometime and that all that she has been through is directly correlated to the cancer. So she started Chemo, and that has been hard, but, when she is through with it, 6 treatments, and the cancer is iradicated from her body, she will be a new woman! Her back pain, that she has been suffering from for quite a while now, as completely disipated! The prayer now is that she will get the use of her legs back! She has had such trauma to her spinal cord that they cant guarantee that. While she can live a normal life without the use of her legs, its just another tough blow for her after the thousands she has already had this year! She is an AMAZING woman and an inspiration to me! God is real and working everyday! and in his way and time, his miracles are better than ANYTHING I could plan :)

Well, after that week, I came back home and got my kids ready to go on a trip to Acquire the Fire. Now, I am going to be totally honest with you here, I DIDNT WANT TO GO AT ALL!! I wanted to be at a youth ministers conference that was the same weekend. But God knew what he was doing. God moved this weekend alot. I know that he shared alot with my kids, but he shared alot with me too.

one thing that stuck out was a night during worship, the worship leader was sharing with us as we sang one of my favorite songs, Hosanna. He shared that the word means, "save us now". I began to think about this, our God is a God that saves. He loves us and he cares for us. and he wants to save us, its the basis of our relationship with him, if we didnt need to be saved, we wouldnt need him. But have I really allowed myself to be saved and enjoy the complete joy of it? I have dreamed for years that I would meet prince charming and he would come into my life, sweep me off my feet and save me and I would live happily ever after, but have I let God do that in my life?

Secondly, was the craziest turn of events that has happened to me in a long time. When we got to the event, we immedietly went upstairs and got settled and then it was time for worship. As I got into worship, I looked around for a minute, because I noticed that this guy was walking around our section just praying for our kids. I realized that this is something they assign many staff to do. But it touched my heart, these people were praying for me and for my kids :) God drew my attention to the young gentlemen praying for us, God just drew my attention and simply whispered, pray for him and remember him. So, I did.

Throughout the weekend, this guy was in our section, he prayed with some of our kids and passed out things to us when we needed them. At one point, our group wanted to adopt a child from Compassion International, so as we raised our hands, he brought us our packet, and of course the question I am used to by now, "sure, you can have one, but where is your youth leader?" I just smiled and said, "oh thats me". He smiled and said, "great!" This was the first interaction we had. And I just kept reminding myself, God told me to remember this guy.

As we broke from our session, my friend Trista, who has become one of my bestfriends, and had come to help chaperone for the week, went with me to look for shirts to buy. Now let me explain, I had been to this booth 3 times already, I really wanted a shirt and kept hoping theyd get my size, but they never did. So we went up once more, so I could pick another one. I was being ever so careful to pick, because we all know how I am with fashion :) As we were at the booth, this guy comes up. He immedietly begins talking to us. Sharing with me how much he loves Leeland, because I had just purchased an irish looking Leeland wristband. I love LEELAND! So as he comments, I share with him that while I love the band, I also got it for my irish heritage which I am so VERY PROUD of :) He told me I was rocking it very well, and began to flirt. Okay, I know Im not there for a guy, but the next events are going to be that of a flirtly love story, just a discliamer :)

So as he and are talking, my friend Trista shares with him that I am very into fashion and sometimes spend too much time on putting together my ensembles ;) that day i had my boots that matched my scarf that matched my hat. :) To which he replies, "As she should, she is beautiful" and "she is made in the image of Christ as well". Okay, now let me just say, I didnt even get the hint of what was going on here. I honestly thought he was just trying to make a sale and get me to buy more stuff. So Trista, being the loving friend that she is proceeds to ask, "well are you single?" and he looks at me and says, "yes, i am." Trista says, "well how do you feel about courtship?" He then gets red in the face and starts to stutter. "Well, Im Still s-s-s-seeking God on what he has for me". The girl at the booth with him then says, "well he cant date anyway, its a rule of acquire the fire". And then, he looks at me and says, "but im done in August.". Now here is the thing, I missed all of this. My friend Trista recapped later for me.

Because here is what happened in my head. I have been lead on before in my life. I have thought that there was something there and it turned out that the guy was not feeling anything for me. I have also been working on it, but still thought there was no way that this guy would be interested in someone like me.

As the night went on, we were in the last service, he was passing something out, he came and brought it to our row and looked at me with a big smile and said "hey there". Problem is, I didnt get his name or number or anything. I was too scared. I just let my insecurities get the best of me! Since the weekend, God just keeps laying him on my heart. But I have no idea how I will find him.

I just hate that because of my insecurities I missed out on what could have been great blessing in my life. I pray that if its Gods will, he will work it out that somehow Ill find him. But even if I dont, someone out there thinks Im beautiful and that gives me hope to know that God has someone for me. Weather its this man or someone else. Keep praying for me.

God is doing some AMAZING stuff!!!

Love you all!

Becky