So, I looked back today and realized my last blog was before moving to MN! That is true representation of my life in the new state! I am so busy in ministry, blogging has had to take a back burner. So I should start by saying, HELLO FRIENDS!! How's life?!?
In MN, for those of you who don't keep up with my Facebook :) I teach preschool at Foursquare, a daycare housed in the church I intern at, Crossroads Church in Lakeville, MN. I love my family there and my kiddos too :) I also work with the youth and am a worship intern. Suffice it to say, IM BUSY ALL THE TIME!!!! And I love it :)
So that's my life or was until 3 weeks ago. Many of you know my mothers been sick for quite a while now. Depression, cancer, infections, meningitis, MRSA, these past 3 years, you name the physical ailment and she probably had it or a form of it!! Well, you also knowing that moving to MN and away from her was a HUGE step for me to take! I missed her, I felt guilty and was pissed at all she had to go through! But I did it, being reminded she was in Gods hands and he could do far more than I ever could for her! So I left! Shortly after, she began to decline. She got MRSA and it went into her bone causing the removal of her big toe. After this surgery, at the end of September, she just wasn't getting better. She was in the hospital but not recovering. By the middle to end of October, October 29 to be exact, her kidneys stopped working. She was sent to an ICU in Des Monies at Mercy Medical Center to determine why. After a ct scan and some other tests, it was determined her cancer was back and in full force. She had tumors in her kidneys, abdomen, and pelvic area, cutting off all use of her kidneys. A doctor called me in the middle of class one day to tell me there was nothing they could do and I should head back to iowa immediately. I hugged my kids and coworkers, shoved stuff into my car and drove the longest 4 hour drive ever!!
The next 10 days were a blur! Getting my brother and his pregnant wife home from Bolivia, making decisions to keep mom comfortable and then spending her last 2 days in hospice with her. I promise you, no one can ever prepare you to watch someone you love so deeply die! She seemed very peaceful on the Thursday when she passed. And we have a hope of knowing where she is now! No more suffering!!!! She's in Jesus arms, dancing with him and singing :) but it's a HUGE void for us! I miss her so much! Today is thanksgiving and honestly, IT SUCKS!!!! This was her favorite day of the year and we don't get her anymore. And that hurts! I mean for her, I'm so happy! She deserves to not suffer anymore, but this pain I'm feeling is so real. And seeing my dad experience it is just AWFUL! And yet beautiful as I'm daily reminded of what true live looks like.
My life is drastically different now! I'll live on her legacy. I'll carry on with life but there's a HUGE void where she once was and that can't be replaced! I love you mom and I miss you so much!!!
