"When you are in the valley, dont be discouraged, dont give up on God, but rather remember every moment, because it is when you are on the mountain that you will truly appriciate the beauty of the valley." "Furthermore, remember your time in the valley, because most likely, it is when you are pulled from the valley and standing on the mountain that God will allow you to see the needs of those in the valley, your experience will help them through."
These are some paraphrases from what God is speaking to my heart lately. I read it in a devotional book the other day, and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it is, but IT CHANGED MY LIFE! I have also been reading Crazy Love, we are studying it in the Young Adult Sunday School class I am teaching. Francis Chan, the author speaks of a a young woman who he frequently sees leading worship at a college that he speaks at. Each time he is there, she has more passion and desire in her worship. One day he approaches her and asks her about it, and she tells him, "Everytime I go before God, because he is the creator, I ask him to create a new and fresh experience for me and for those I am leading to his throne." I cried when he shared this story. First of all because I am a worship leader and THIS captures what I want in my heart when I lead, but this girl took it a step further and she did something about it! She didnt let it become routine or mundane. Every chance she got to worship and sing was a gift and a new creation. I have been leading worship this way the past few weeks and WHAT A CHANGE! To ALWAYS come to God with this heart and passion. I mean it is has been there for me, but Im telling you, its renewed, fresh, brighter than ever before!
BUT...When I come to God in my devotions and in my daily living, I am trying to be intentional about this too. It is amazing that when we come to God EVERYDAY expecting him to do something great, what a change can happen. I have been struggling alot lately with not fully experiencing the joy of my relationship with God, because I have been bogged down with the hard things in my life. With the crazyness and busyness, and with watching many of my other friends suffer right now. ITS TOUGH. But see, that is where God is challenging me, YES ITS HARD, but I dont have to go through it alone! I have a God who loves me and wants to stand beside me through all of it! And he WANTS to make a new creation in me every single day. And so, these past few weeks, I feel that God has been beside me, he always has been, but I have been making it a point to notice it and rejoice in it!!
As I shared, the quotes at the beginning of this blog. I feel like I am starting to be on the mountain after a VERY LONG valley in our family, I wouldnt say we are at the top yet. Mom is still in a nursing home and not walking yet, but shes starting to talk more, shes smiling more, and HER CANCER IS IN FULL REMISSION! So we have alot to praise God for. I am still sad that my brother is in another country, but I am finally okay with it and enjoying talking to him over facebook and on the phone when we get to! My physical health still has its moments where I get super achy from arthritis pain, BUT PRAISE GOD I AM SO MUCH BETTER! I have lost 40 pounds. My thyroid levels are at the best they have been in a VERY LONG time! and my other blood levels are GREAT TOO! And God has been sharing with me alot lately that he is about to do some AMAZING things, that I cant even begin to imagine! So yes, I am coming up the mountain and I will just praise God for each day of that :)
What I have been able to do lately though is to help many who are in the valley right now. I am amazed at the people that God is allowing to go through struggles right now and that he has enough confidence in ME to help them through it. I just hope that in all of it, they see the face of God and not ME! Friends who have lost loved ones, friends who are going through physical health issues, friends who are suffering from anxiety and depression. and even friends who are watching their parents be sick and suffer. I NEVER thought about the fact that my valley was going to be not only for the purpose of helping ME become a bigger and better person in Christ, but that also it was to help lift up and encourage those that would be going through their own valleys. The scripture God has given me, I am able to now share with them. The words he has spoken to my heart, I am now able to speak to their hearts. Our God is amazing and I am truly greatful to know him!!
I love my God and I am thankful for the valleys that he allowed me to go through. I am thankful that he loves me so much that he does things for my good, even when I dont understand it. I am going to leave you with a quote from Crazy Love that I think we should all think about this week.
"If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop in my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives"
When we truly realize how big our God is and allow him to be so, some pretty INCREDIBLE things can happen and I CANT WAIT to see what God unfolds!!!!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG!!
Okay, I know, I really have been screwing up on this whole blog everyday thing :0) BUT...I do have good reason. I got a new job, I have some new ministries I am a part of, and I am doing work for the kingdom, so as much as I love you all, I had to take a break for a little while. I never did get to finish my daily blogs about the people in my life that have changed and impacted me, and I think that I will get back to that someday. We will see. I really enjoyed doing it, I dont think that we take the time to sit back and think about those things in our lives enough, let alone take it a step further and thank the people that have impacted us. Life gets busy and we just keep moving as though, at times, we think that we are just in this thing alone. WHICH IS SO NOT TRUE! But on to my life :0) ha ha ha.
I have been at my new job for several weeks now, and let me just say I LOVE IT! I love the people I work with. I love that I get a break everyday :0) I actually enjoy going in to work at 7 am, because it means I get to leave by 3 or 3:30 pm and now I get to start working with an after school program, a ministry that I could not do before due to my hours at work. I actually enjoy working with 2 year olds, I have about half and half in my class, half 2s and half 3s, and they are SO MUCH FUN! I dont know how God does it, but no matter how many kids and youth I work with in my life, I fall in love with a new batch everytime, and with just as deep a love as the group before. Its like my heart just keeps growing to add more love for more kids. I wonder if thats kind of what its like to be a mom? Maybe someday I will know the answer to that first hand :) I am learning to potty train, which has been both challenging and Im sure entertaining for those on the outside to watch :) I always enjoy a new challenge though. As I work in this room I will now be able to add 2 year olds to my resume of children I have worked with and it will read that I have worked with infants,1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, School Agers, Middle Schoolers, High Schoolers and in the next paragraph you will see, young adults as well. It is just so crazy to me how God has allowed me to work such a wide range of his people, and all of them just as beautiful and incredible as the last to me.
I am also taking on the role as the young adult leader at my church. I just started a young adult Sunday School and we are now in our second week. We are reading the book Crazy Love, and it has been very challenging to me. Great that I am challenged, I think it makes me a better teacher when God is speaking to me just the same as he is speaking to the students in my class :) Its been quite a challenge to be honest. These people are my peers, or people that are a few years younger than me, since I hit the big 3-0 this year! :) But still my peers, I consider them, as I dont feel that old!! I like to think of my age as more like 23 or 24, thats how old I feel anyways :0) ANYWAYS....I digress. It has been a challenge because I am such a people pleaser. I dont ever want to upset anyone or say anything that might make someone angry. I am not a natural born leader, its a trait I have had to learn. Working with your peers, its hard to know how to do that. When I work with children and youth, I am the adult, they know I am the adult and that means I am the one in charge and weather they like it or not, they have to listen to me and answer to me. How do you do that with your peers? And where is the balence of just going through life together and being a group of people who build one another up and share life together? As I learn, I will share those answers with you :)
We have been reading Crazy Love, and its all about falling in Love with God. It is written alot for people who have grown up in the church. People who have grown up beleiving in God, hearing his name in their daily lives, and for many of us, have forgotten the awe of God! It has been, as I said quite a challenge to me. The first chapter has been about prayer and relationship. This idea of praying actually expecting God to do something! The idea of realizing that God wants to answer us and he cares for each of us. But also realizing that sometimes, the answers come in ways that we may not like or want. The idea that NONE of this life is about us at all! Its about God and bringing Glory to him. We watched a video called "Awe Factor of God". Francis Chan, the author of the book, was talking about the Earth we live on, showing us how we live in a small galaxy which is a part of many other galaxies. The picture and idea was that when you really look at ALL that God created, our Earth seems pretty small and insignificant, and yet we think sometimes that we are all that matters, and there is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN WHAT WE ARE LIVING!
I have been challenged. My life is not what I thought it would be at age 30. I am living with my father and helping care for him, I go and visit my mother in a nursing home during the week, which is VERY HARD to do! Its not the life we dreamed for her or the life she dreamed for herself, but God is still using her to bless us and others daily! I am working in a daycare, and if Im not careful, I can feel that the life Im living is quite insignificant and means nothing. But its SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH!
I am learning that the life I life is VERY IMPORTANT! Each week I get to put a smile on not only my mothers face, but the face of those who are in the nursing home with her. Many of her friends look forward to my coming now, just because I remember their names and give them attention. I HATED going into the nursing home for a while, but I quickly learned, these people NEED love, they NEED care! They have to live here regardless of what they want, because of the cards they have been dealt. So I am making a HUGE difference to them! Even if its only a few hours a week, even if noone else knows my name, they know the face of God, because I am choosing to show it to them each week :) The smile on my dads face when he wakes up each day and knows that he isnt alone in his home, THAT is worth it all! I may not ever be famous, My name may not be called by thousands, but those people in the nursing home, if they know the name and face of God, THAT IS WHAT MATTERS!
I am learning that teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world! Again, it may seem very insignificant to some, but I get the chance to shape the lives of young children. Those 2 and 3 year olds in my room depend on Miss Becky. THAT is a HUGE responsibility. I sometimes dream of using my voice more and singing in front of huge crowds, but every day at nap time, when I get the chance to sing to those beautiful little faces, I realize that there is not a better use for my voice. I dream of speaking and teaching thousands, but I realize that those 12 children that I teach everyday are far more important that the thousands that I may never meet. And even though I am teaching colors,letters, shapes, numbers and other preschool things, to those 12 children, its the most important time of their lives, this is a time to shape them, and God feels that I am worthy enough to do that. Even if I do sing Wheels on the Bus EVERYDAY, and feel like a pro at changing diapers, washing hands, taking temperatures, and cleaning up toys :) Its all training for a greater thing :) and its all important because it is Gods work for Gods people.
Working at an after-school program in a small town is not really what I had in mind. Id rather be working in Minneapolis or some big city with a HUGE ministry to homeless and hurting teens. But...when I stop and think, and take classes, I quickly learn that I am right where God wants me. Our area of the country is the most hurting and many dont even know it! We have the highest rate of domestic, substance, alcohol, and child abuse!and the Highest Rates of Homelessness and poverty. The HIGHEST RATES ....IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY!! Right here in South East Iowa. It may not be as well known as the issues in Chicago, New York, Minneapolis or many other cities, but the issues and needs are there! So I see now that I am right where I NEED to be!
God has plans and is working DAILY! And if we are willing,even if its not what we would have planned or imagined, God will use us. Because we must once again realize that ITS NOT ABOUT US! When we truly live for God, he pours out of us. And when its a real relationship, HIS GLORY WILL SHINE THROUGH! This is my challenge and lessons that I have been learning lately. What has God been saying to you?
I have been at my new job for several weeks now, and let me just say I LOVE IT! I love the people I work with. I love that I get a break everyday :0) I actually enjoy going in to work at 7 am, because it means I get to leave by 3 or 3:30 pm and now I get to start working with an after school program, a ministry that I could not do before due to my hours at work. I actually enjoy working with 2 year olds, I have about half and half in my class, half 2s and half 3s, and they are SO MUCH FUN! I dont know how God does it, but no matter how many kids and youth I work with in my life, I fall in love with a new batch everytime, and with just as deep a love as the group before. Its like my heart just keeps growing to add more love for more kids. I wonder if thats kind of what its like to be a mom? Maybe someday I will know the answer to that first hand :) I am learning to potty train, which has been both challenging and Im sure entertaining for those on the outside to watch :) I always enjoy a new challenge though. As I work in this room I will now be able to add 2 year olds to my resume of children I have worked with and it will read that I have worked with infants,1s, 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, School Agers, Middle Schoolers, High Schoolers and in the next paragraph you will see, young adults as well. It is just so crazy to me how God has allowed me to work such a wide range of his people, and all of them just as beautiful and incredible as the last to me.
I am also taking on the role as the young adult leader at my church. I just started a young adult Sunday School and we are now in our second week. We are reading the book Crazy Love, and it has been very challenging to me. Great that I am challenged, I think it makes me a better teacher when God is speaking to me just the same as he is speaking to the students in my class :) Its been quite a challenge to be honest. These people are my peers, or people that are a few years younger than me, since I hit the big 3-0 this year! :) But still my peers, I consider them, as I dont feel that old!! I like to think of my age as more like 23 or 24, thats how old I feel anyways :0) ANYWAYS....I digress. It has been a challenge because I am such a people pleaser. I dont ever want to upset anyone or say anything that might make someone angry. I am not a natural born leader, its a trait I have had to learn. Working with your peers, its hard to know how to do that. When I work with children and youth, I am the adult, they know I am the adult and that means I am the one in charge and weather they like it or not, they have to listen to me and answer to me. How do you do that with your peers? And where is the balence of just going through life together and being a group of people who build one another up and share life together? As I learn, I will share those answers with you :)
We have been reading Crazy Love, and its all about falling in Love with God. It is written alot for people who have grown up in the church. People who have grown up beleiving in God, hearing his name in their daily lives, and for many of us, have forgotten the awe of God! It has been, as I said quite a challenge to me. The first chapter has been about prayer and relationship. This idea of praying actually expecting God to do something! The idea of realizing that God wants to answer us and he cares for each of us. But also realizing that sometimes, the answers come in ways that we may not like or want. The idea that NONE of this life is about us at all! Its about God and bringing Glory to him. We watched a video called "Awe Factor of God". Francis Chan, the author of the book, was talking about the Earth we live on, showing us how we live in a small galaxy which is a part of many other galaxies. The picture and idea was that when you really look at ALL that God created, our Earth seems pretty small and insignificant, and yet we think sometimes that we are all that matters, and there is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN WHAT WE ARE LIVING!
I have been challenged. My life is not what I thought it would be at age 30. I am living with my father and helping care for him, I go and visit my mother in a nursing home during the week, which is VERY HARD to do! Its not the life we dreamed for her or the life she dreamed for herself, but God is still using her to bless us and others daily! I am working in a daycare, and if Im not careful, I can feel that the life Im living is quite insignificant and means nothing. But its SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH!
I am learning that the life I life is VERY IMPORTANT! Each week I get to put a smile on not only my mothers face, but the face of those who are in the nursing home with her. Many of her friends look forward to my coming now, just because I remember their names and give them attention. I HATED going into the nursing home for a while, but I quickly learned, these people NEED love, they NEED care! They have to live here regardless of what they want, because of the cards they have been dealt. So I am making a HUGE difference to them! Even if its only a few hours a week, even if noone else knows my name, they know the face of God, because I am choosing to show it to them each week :) The smile on my dads face when he wakes up each day and knows that he isnt alone in his home, THAT is worth it all! I may not ever be famous, My name may not be called by thousands, but those people in the nursing home, if they know the name and face of God, THAT IS WHAT MATTERS!
I am learning that teaching is one of the most important jobs in the world! Again, it may seem very insignificant to some, but I get the chance to shape the lives of young children. Those 2 and 3 year olds in my room depend on Miss Becky. THAT is a HUGE responsibility. I sometimes dream of using my voice more and singing in front of huge crowds, but every day at nap time, when I get the chance to sing to those beautiful little faces, I realize that there is not a better use for my voice. I dream of speaking and teaching thousands, but I realize that those 12 children that I teach everyday are far more important that the thousands that I may never meet. And even though I am teaching colors,letters, shapes, numbers and other preschool things, to those 12 children, its the most important time of their lives, this is a time to shape them, and God feels that I am worthy enough to do that. Even if I do sing Wheels on the Bus EVERYDAY, and feel like a pro at changing diapers, washing hands, taking temperatures, and cleaning up toys :) Its all training for a greater thing :) and its all important because it is Gods work for Gods people.
Working at an after-school program in a small town is not really what I had in mind. Id rather be working in Minneapolis or some big city with a HUGE ministry to homeless and hurting teens. But...when I stop and think, and take classes, I quickly learn that I am right where God wants me. Our area of the country is the most hurting and many dont even know it! We have the highest rate of domestic, substance, alcohol, and child abuse!and the Highest Rates of Homelessness and poverty. The HIGHEST RATES ....IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY!! Right here in South East Iowa. It may not be as well known as the issues in Chicago, New York, Minneapolis or many other cities, but the issues and needs are there! So I see now that I am right where I NEED to be!
God has plans and is working DAILY! And if we are willing,even if its not what we would have planned or imagined, God will use us. Because we must once again realize that ITS NOT ABOUT US! When we truly live for God, he pours out of us. And when its a real relationship, HIS GLORY WILL SHINE THROUGH! This is my challenge and lessons that I have been learning lately. What has God been saying to you?
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