Feels Like Home....

Okay....so its been a while. sorry about that, well to the 9 of you that actually read this, I am sure you have been hanging on the edge of your seat waiting for my next blog :) ha ha ha....anyways.

well first, my baby brother and his wife are now safely at their new home in Bolivia and ready to serve God with all their hearts. I am SO PROUD of them! I really am. I miss them alot, but my heart wells up with pride. Hoping that in my life, I show the same commitment to the God who has given me such AMAZING blessings. I think I do. Im not in another country, but I am in a new culture and Im on my own, like the Les Mis song states :) and Im doing what God has laid on my heart to do. I have been thinking about this alot lately, how we just have this one idea of missions in our heads, what Bryan and Molly are doing, which is fantastic, but what about those of us who truly do have a PASSION in our hearts for where we are at right now? and what about those of us who are followers of Christ but we really dont have a passion to reach anyone? See, the commitment, thats what God wants, the heart of a servant, to do whatever he says, whenever he says, wherever he might lead out of a heart of crazy love for him, a fraction of which is the CRAZY LOVE he has for us!!

Second, my mommy is doing well. Doctors are giving her a VERY GOOD outlook, after 3 treatments of chemo now, the cancer is completely dormant and with this type of cancer, should not come back and if it does, they can treat it at that time. The cancer she has is one of the best types to get, if thats even possible, because it is not only treatable, but doctors now use the word curable! God is good and he has been showing himself through her trials in amazing ways!

Third, so as many of you know, I am a hopeless romantic. If you go back and read my previous blogs, you know I love chick flicks. I dream of the day I will get married, I even have the wedding party picked out, i mean bridesmaids, ringbearers, flower girls, even junior groomsmen and bridesmaids, because I have been blessed with so many great children in my life :) One of my favorite songs ever is called, Feels Like Home. It is from a womans perspective of the man she is in love with. How happy he is making her, how lonely she has been, how she has prayed for the day that they would meet and share this love together. and man, I just have to say that I feel like daily, the longing in my heart to meet my future husband is just growing like crazy. I mean unbelieveable amounts, its like God is preparing my heart to meet him. I sure hope its the case. I long for that sense of belonging and love from my future spouse.

I guess, if I am going to be totally honest, which of course I am, I have had this sinking feeling that I am always going to be alone, that I am never going to meet mr.right, that something about me is just plain not good enough. I look around and I swear to you 95 percent of my friends are married and have children or married and so happy together or preparing to get married and here I sit alone. I just long for the day to prepare for my wedding, to fall in love, just all of it. Lately, I have these talks with friends who say, you know its not all its cracked up to be Becky, be happy where you are at. And maybe it is one of those, grass is always greener things, but somehow, I just dont feel it is. You see, I dont want to get married just for me, oh dont get me wrong, to be loved with that kind of love, I cant wait, but more than that, its because I have this love in my heart that is just bursting for my future husband. I have prayed for him for years, I have had him on my mind and made choices regarding him for so long, no kissing until its for him, my heart belongs to him, I just know that God has created this perfect man for me. And I cannot wait to lavish the love on him that Christ has lavished on me, to show him the love that God has placed in my heart for him.

I guess what I am trying to say in all of this is that God has given some incredible blessings and I know that he has many blessings to come. And I am in awe of what he is doing and what he has yet to do. To God Be The Glory in ALL of these things!!