In the past few weeks I have been just flooded in my mind with the thoughts of stories. Stories in the Bible, Stories of my family and friends, stories, you here them everyday, in fact, each of us lives one everyday. It hasnt been until recently that I have really taken the time to think about what my story is, the one that I am living right now. What do people think when they here the name, "Becky Canny"? What is my story?
But more than that, I have been thinking about other peoples stories. My family, my friends, my youth kids, the people in the community around me. Mainly the thoughts that have consumed me are my story and my parents story. I have been trying to figure out why it is that my moms part of the story right now has to be with her in a nursing home instead of enjoying life. Or why my dads part of the story is living apart from his wife right now. My parents love story is a great one, they both met later on in life. My mom was in her late 30s and my dad in his early 40s. They got married a few short months after they met and knew God had led them together. They had me 9 months after their wedding. Now, yes that was quick, but for a couple who never thought theyd meet anyone, and then thought theyd just met to late to have children, you can imagine the joy of a child. And then 2 years later, the joy of another little one! At age 40, my mom had my baby brother, Bryan Edward. Our family was complete, Edward Patrick, Brenda Joyce, Rebecca Dawn, and Bryan Edward. My parents have had their fights, but they have always cared for and loved one another VERY DEEPLY. They finally have a chance to be just Ed and Brenda, now that Bryan and I have both found the places God has called us and we are out of the home. and they dont get to spend this time together.
Now, I could get very angry, but I know God has a reason for it all. He is writing a story I couldnt even begin to imagine. I have been so worried and scared about my parents lately, being away from them is a new experience in my life. We have always been close, but we have always literally lived close to one another, letting go of them has been tough. Trusting and knowing that God is going to care for them, its been tough for me. I have been wrestling with God alot. I am learning to know him more, who he is and who he is to me.
If I am honest with you, Im not the optimist everyone thinks I am when they see me and spend time with me. In fact, I spend much of my life riddled with anxiety and worry about the next bad thing that is going to happen. I just prepare myself for it. I try to write the stories in my mind and figure them out, so that when the bad things happen I will be ready for them and able to accept them. Its not a fun perspective to live from at all and I am vowing to try and stop it! I have no joy or hope in this God I say I serve when I live my life in this way.
I have no idea what the story is that God is writing, not for me, not for my mom, not for my dad, but I am excited as I see that he has some great things in story. Many of the Bible stories I read, I have heard them for so long in my life, that I fail to realize 2 things. First of all, these are REAL people, these are not just stories, these people actually experienced these things. Second, they had no idea the end to their story either. They lived the life of faith God is calling us to. Joseph had no idea that after being thrown in a well and being betrayed by his brothers, and then thrown into Pharohs prison that God was doing INCREDIBLE things and that he was going to live a life he never could have planned for himself. Zaccheus had no idea that by trying to just see Jesus, he would get to experience him in ways he never dreamed of. And there are many more stories. These people had no idea what God was doing, but they chose to follow him and gave them greater blessing than they could have ever imagined.
I am going to get to that point myself. I know God is writing a great story and rather than wrestle with him over the pen, I am going to hand it over to him. He can write a much better one that I could. And hey, I bet I will enjoy some of it too :)
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