Saturday, May 2, 2009

Letting Go...its not so bad!

Last night, my post had a little different flavor. I talked about how scared I have been lately. How scared I have been to take chances and risk being hurt AGAIN!! But today, I decided to make things different. It was a busy day, but it was fun. At 8 am, my mom and dad came over and we went to garage sales, it was ALOT of fun. I love spending quality time with them. My brother, Bryan, had to sing at a wedding, but when he was done, he called us and met up with us and we all went to lunch as a family and then came back to the apartment that my brother and I rent together and spent some time together as a family. It may not sound like much,but it made my day. Just seeing how much my parents love each other after 26 years of being married. and seeing how, even though they both had to wait and met and got married when they were older and had children when they were older, God has blessed our family in ways that I would NEVER change. We have been through some tough times together, but through it all, we have all been in it together. and it made me realize just how great of a person I really am because of my family. I have a big heart, i love singing and i have become the person that I am today, all because of them.

Later today, I got on the computer and had an unexpected note in my facebook inbox. One of the girls I have counseled at camps over the years sent me a very nice message. Now this girl was one of the tough ones, she seemed to hate me at times and was very unkind to me, she has grown up some now and so have I, but still, the note was very refreshing and unexpected. It was simply a note from seeing her last weekend when a bunch of us got together for a walk for Cistic Fibrosis to find a cure for 2 of my favorite kids in the world, Jack and Lanie. In the note, she stated that I looked different. That I seemed happier, that my skin looked amazing and that I looked great. Words of affirmation are HUGE to me, so it made my day, it took me aback, but it made my day. Then tonight, my brother and I went to see some of our friends in One Act Plays and then Smokey Row, a lot of people kept commenting on how cute I looked and how great I looked. I got the chance to sing with Bryan and that led to more people telling me how amazing my voice was. I love singing, because of the gift that God has given me, sometimes I feel highly unworthy of it, but Im thankful for it EVERYDAY.

But all this got me thinking, maybe I do have something offer. Maybe there is something there for someone to love and be attracted to. Maybe I am pretty. Maybe I have talents and abilities that would attract someone to me. Maybe I would be a good girlfriend to someone. Maybe I would make a good wife someday. Maybe I would even make a great mom someday. Maybe I am someone to be proud of.

Still working through it, but Im working on it. Letting Go!

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