Okay, so not too long ago, okay I guess its been almost 2 years now :( but anyways, what SEEMS LIKE not that long ago, I did the Daniel Fast, I blogged about it then and God did some very amazing things in my life during that time. Well, the church has decided that they are going to do the fast together, and so here I find myself again, at the beginning of the time of fasting. The 1st couple days are the hardest for me, and I am just in the middle of day one. You see, heres the thing, I think that if I wasnt on the fast, I wouldnt even be thinking about food, but because Im on it and I know I cant have certain things, somehow, now I want them even more. So crazy how our human brains work!
I have several reasons that I want to do this fast. The first is this, I want to do something together as the body of Christ, to grow closer to one another, so that we can in turn, grow closer to Christ, and become the army that fights for him. In some ways, as cheesy as it sounds, I guess I see the people in the church that are going through this with me, as my battle buddies. I know, right, like you can even see me, little 4'11'' Becky Canny, strawberry shortcake, cabbage patch, campbell soup kid, cutiepie fighting in battle :) But the truth is, we ALL are! We are in battle every day, and doing this fast, puts us right in the front lines, as we try to grow closer to God and in our faith, Satan is going to try his best to push us down and make us feel defated! So first of all, I ask for your prayers in all of this. Pray for me and for the other members of my church who are doing this fast as well.
But I said I had more than one reason I was doing this. I am also doing this for the healing of my mom. I and many others have been praying for her healing for quite a while, but I have to be honest and say that I have not put it all completely in the hands of God and to be more honest, at times I have become discouraged and told myself that the hope of her healing is just something I shouldnt continue to hold on to. This is not true. I serve a God who loves and cares for me, and who loves and cares deeply for my mother and the rest of my family as well. Part of my fast time is going to be spent in prayer for her.
Also, the youth ministry here at the church. I am in this place where Im right at the beginning of being in full time ministry and its scary at times. I have been in ministry for 10 years now, but not full time where people at church are watching my every move and where I am accountable to EVERYTHING I do in life, because I am in a place of being an example of Christ. and I LOVE it!!!! But its also a place where I feel weak at times. Where I do feel defeated at times, or feel like I am not going to be able to live up to what is expected of me, this is where the fast comes in, I want God to lead this ministry and I want to put him first, fasting for me in this instance is seeking him and his will.
Another thing I am fasting for is the camps I am going to be counseling at this summer. I am the director for one camp and I am a counselor/activities and games coordinator for another, and for the third, Im not really sure what God is calling me to do yet, which is one thing I will be seeking as I fast. I want the camps to be led by God and what he has for these kids. I am just his hands and feet, he is the leader and in fasting, I believe God is going to guide me in this area as I fast.
I am also fasting for personal relationships. I want to be a person that God is proud of, and I want to be the person in relationships that builds the other up. There are some relationships in my life lately that have been very strained and I have been very hurt in some things. Part of fasting for me is trusting God and laying those relationships in his hands and that rather than them seeing ME, they see him, and rather than MY feelings and MY actions being what sticks out, instead, its what GOD wants and HE is what pours out of me.
I have so many reasons why I am fasting, another is for my future spouse. I am going to be 29 in just a few weeks, very close to 30, and while I would love to say that I am at a place in my life where I am happy about everything, I am not. I have this longing and desire in my heart to find someone. I have this feeling and very real desire that there is someone out that there that God wants me to meet. I have prayed for him for many years of my life. Not just that I would meet him, but FOR him, like his family life, his relationships, just his life in general, that God would bless and care for him very much and watch over him. There are days where I literally MISS him.
I have many reasons why I am fasting right now and things that I am praying for and letting go of through out this fast, but the bottom line, I am doing it for God. I want to grow closer to him. This past year has been one that has rocked my world. My brother got married and is moving to another country and in this, in many ways, I lost my bestfriend in the World and have had to learn to rely on God. My mother has been in a car accident, in the hospital 3 times, went missing for 2 days this summer, after trying to kill herself, and is now in a nursing home recovering from all of the things that she has had to face this past year, I was called to move to a town that is 3 hours from all I have ever known, my friends, my family. This year I have had many times where I have been angry with God, where I have not understood why my family is going through all of the pain that they are going through. But I know that God is there and I know he has a reason for all of it. Maybe its so that I would get on my face before him and make my relationship with him real again, maybe its so that we would grow close as a family and learn to place it ALL in the hands of God. I dont know, but I DO KNOW the God that I am doing this for is worth all of it and deserves even more than I could even begin to offer to him.
I know that God is going to do some incredible things through this fast, I hope to blog each day for the next 40 days about this fast that God is leading me through. Here is a basic lowdown of what God has called me to do in this fast. It may be different for everyone, and because of my health issues, I have modified it a little, but its not about legalism and rules, its about what I personally am giving up to focus more on God.
I can eat:
All Fruits-Canned or Fresh(only if they are in water and not syrup)
All Vegetables-Canned or Fresh
Broths-Chicken, Beef, or Vegetable
Nuts-any kind of nuts
Dairy-because of my thyroid, I cannot completely give up dairy, or I would loose the calcium my bones and muscles need to function, so I am allowed 2 servings of dairy products a day.
Dairy products allowed are:
Cottage Cheese
Milk-white only-2%
Yogurt
Eggs-I can have 2 eggs a day for protein
Spices-I can use most spices to add flavor to dish
Whole Grains-pastas, whole wheat bread, whole wheat pancakes, wheat flour
Beverages-Fruit or Vegetable Juices, Water, 2 glasses of milk(max) in one day, Herbal Teas, Coffee (decaf only)
Sweet Treat Allowed: Lemon Drops-in case of sore throat or need for sugar.
Foods I CANT have:
Chocolate or any kind of candy or sweets
White Bread, Flour, Pastas
Meat
Processed Foods
Cheese-other than the cottage cheese I am allowed to have for my calcium each day.
Caffine
Sugar, besides the natural sugars in fruits and veggies and whole grains
Pop
This is a pretty basic view of the things that I am not able to eat for the next 40 days and the things I AM able to eat. I think it is going to be a great time with my savior and I also believe it is going to help me physically.
I will try to blog again tomorrow. about how the fast is going. Have a great day and be blessed by God in ALL you do!!!
Becky
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