Build Your Kingdom Here!!

So lately, and I use the term lately to mean, in the past 3 days, I have had some VERY RARE down time and actually forced myself to be an introvert for a few days! I spent time in my house. I cleaned, I did laundry, I read, I watched movies and T.V. and I thought! I thought about a lot of things. I prayed about a lot of things too. and let me tell you, in these moments, GOD HAS MET WITH ME! Both in big ways and in small.

I shared in my last post that God was really beginning to help me root out some bitterness and anger in my life, things that I have been holding on to for FAR TOO LONG! And since camp, he has just continued with this theme. But in a VERY BEAUTIFUL and refreshing way! I have thoroughly been enjoying these moments I get to have with him. and yet, as I do, I have been facing great conviction as well. A greater sense, as if I didnt already have one, of the calling God has placed on my life to be in ministry! But of the calling he has placed on each of our lives.

I have been reading book after book, about the church, the calling God has for us. How he wants us to live, act, and be. And I have been scouring my Bible as we read in the different Bible Studies I am in. and I cant help but feel that I, along with others, have been missing it! I mean one of the biggest themes I see over and over again that God calls us to is this idea of Community. Acts 2 is one of my favorite chapters of the Bible, now of course, I am going to encourage you, as I have been learning, read it in context. But I LOVE the picture of community here. These people were in one anothers lives. They broke bread together, they spent time together, They really CARED for one another. Its the very essence of what God wants for each and every one of us! He wants us to be his followers, his disciples. He wants so much more for us than what we have been living.

I was talking to one of my friends the other day and we were talking about the idea of Restoration. This is another theme that God has placed very strongly on my heart right now actually. Its something he has been doing in my life personally and something I am longing for him to do in the hearts of those around me. There is a beauty in restoration. This idea that once we were against one another, once we were at ought, and now, because of the grace and love of God we have freedom and we can love one another and live in peace, it AMAZES me! In fact, this friend I was talking to, was one of those people! She and I have just recently come out of a time of deep hurt and pain. We were not in a good place with one another for several months. And when we finally admitted it, when we finally "LET GO" and just gave it all to God, wow!!! The freedom I experienced. The pure joy I have when I talk to her now, its incredible, and it only happened because of the GRACE and LOVE of Jesus.

We as Christians are called to this. We are called to sometimes be honest with one another, confronting one another in love. THIS is something that is REALLY HARD for my people pleasing heart. I dont want to ever confront someone and tell them that they hurt me or upset me, because then I risk hurting or upsetting them. and it becomes a vicious cycle. One Im quite frankly, TIRED of living in! So, God has called me to begin doing this. Its a challenge, Im not fully there yet friends, not even close to be honest! But Im trying. and in the moments I have, I experience GREAT freedom! You see, it hurts my heart to see my friends, but especially those that call ourselves the "body of Christ", to treat one another in the ways that we have been. We talk about one another behind our backs. We pretend to really like someone to their face and then trash them as soon as they leave the room. Or even worse, we treat people like garbage. We make them feel left out, excluded, like somehow what we have to offer in the body of Christ is SO MUCH BETTER than ANYTHING they possibly could offer. It just makes me sick! and it makes me sick friends, because I AM GUILTY OF IT TOO!!!

I remember my first year as a camp counselor. I had spent years of my life feeling that I wasnt good enough. Feeling too fat, too ugly, or that people would not accept me. But something happened, my first year as a counselor, kids loved me! I was their favorite. We had fun. and I was on the top of the World! Not only did I get to be a leader. Not only did I get to do a job I loved, but these kids loved me. At one camp, and remember, I was only 18 years old, "the cool kids" were the group that loved me the most. So I began to spend time with them, more than the other kids. and you know what, I missed out on a chance to counsel. You see, somehow, I got caught up in all of the "hype" and I allowed myself to be one of the "cool kids", letting go of all those feelings of rejection that I had once felt, and embracing this new sense of acceptance, it was a GREAT feeling at first, but you see I realized something, I was hurting another group of kids and rather than show love and compassion to some kids who really needed it, I actually became part of the group, in a very unintentional way, but I was part of making them feel outcast or shunned. WOW! What a humbling place to be. I had to ask for forgiveness, I had to check my heart. and I had to put Jesus first, back where he belonged. and I had to remind myself of what I once felt, and what I so desperately longed for and needed. This acceptance I was now feeling, THEY deserved to feel that too! My brother wrote a song once, and part of the lyrics simply say, "How quickly we forget, that we have been there too". and its so true. How quickly we forget that we too have been down the same road as others, and that God wants us to travel this road together.

You see, God has been calling me to be loving and accepting of those around me. He has been calling me to live a life for Christ. In every facet of my life. He has been calling me to complain less. To be less critical. And in those moments, when I find myself slipping into it, well, I pull myself out. I remind myself of the God that loves me so much. Of the CRAZY AMOUNT of things he has done for me! I am blessed, and through that, I want to bless others. I dont claim to have it all together. But I am going to claim to live for Christ!

You see, lately, I have been realizing how much of a "helper" I like to be. I want to help others as much as I can in life. Part of this is because my mom did it so much for me. Part of it is because I experience great joy in knowing that my helping someone else gives them a glimpse of the love God has for them. and part of it is because I remember how much it means to me when OTHERS help me. and I want to do the same for them. I have been told by so many of my friends, "But Becky, thats not your job" or "Becky, you dont HAVE to do that". and you know what, they are right. But there is something that takes joy in my heart to know that I CHOSE to help. That I CHOSE to give love when it wasnt always easy. Its what God calls us to do. as my friend said today, "Becky, God calls to help even those jerks". and its true, he does! To care for, help them, and love them, no matter how many times they hurt or annoy us! We are called to help them! It IS my job! Because God has called me to it!

a few years ago my brother wrote a song, it was right after our friend Trevor had passed away. Trevor lived an AMAZING live for Christ. In EVERYTHING he said and did. He died very suddenly in a car accident. and when he died, people knew he had lived his life in the right way. and people knew that he was in heaven. and he had made an impact on the World around him. Bryan and Trevor LOVED the Chronicles of Narnia books. and there is a rat named "Reapacheap" in the series of books. One of the best characters. Reapcheap has gone through great battle and he is coming to the end of his life. They are on a ship and he is going to die. and his last request is this, "when I die, please let them know, my face pointed toward Bright Warm Shores". THIS is where Aslan was. His point was that he wanted people to know that when he died, his face was pointing to Aslan, his life was lived for the service of HIS king! Bryan wrote this song knowing that Trevors face pointed toward Jesus when he died. He had lived his life, exactly the way that God calls us to.

There is a song that has been really popular lately, as a worship leader, I have had the chance to sing it alot and I LOVE the words. They simply state, "Build Your Kingdom Here, let the darkness fear, show your mighty hand, heal our streets and lands, set your church on fire, win this nation back, change the atmosphere, build your kingdom here, we pray!"

This is my prayer today. I want to be a place where God can build his Kingdom. I want to change the atmosphere of the World around me, in a way that brings them closer to the heart of God. Let me be a part of that change God! Build Your Kingdom Here!!!!!