So....I have written several times about it in my blogs and I have written it in several facebook statuses as well, but in just 23 days, I will hit the big age, that age that seems to just sound so old and THRUST you into adulthood, for now and forever. Thats right friends, the big 3-0!!!!! AHHHH!!!
Well, as I have been thinking about hitting that age, coupled with the fact that its the first day of the new year, my mind has been filled with lots of things :) I never make resolutions for the new year, mostly because I feel like if I make them and dont keep them, I will be a failure, and I dont want to give myself something to fail at...when I already struggle with my self-esteem as it is. HOWEVER, I do spend this time as a time of reflection, I reflect back on the past year, the good things, the bad things, who I was at the beginning of the year, and who I am now. People I have met through out the year and friendships and relationships that have made the year what they are.
2011 has been a BIG YEAR for me, I have made a lot of big decisions, ALOT has happened to me, and I feel as though, I am at the end of this year, a better person for it. That being sad, throughout this year, I have not always felt this way. Last year, at this time, I was living in Sumner, I was sleeping in my bed after having just had an all-nighter with the community youth of Sumner. I was serving as a full time youth pastor and church secretary. THIS in and of itself was HUGE!! I was, for the first time in my life, living alone. I had my own apartment, I was paying all of my own bills, I was making all of my own meals, and taking care of my own place. Pretty proud of the fact that I did it, because I proved to myself that I could. In February, it was the WORST day of my year. On my way back to the church after picking up my last youth member and getting ready to head out to a ski trip, I got a call from my father that my mother had been diagnosed with cancer and it was in her spine, she would undergo emergency surgery that very day and she may never walk again. To say that I had to have strength that day would be quite an understatement. You see, I had to pull it together and take my youth on this ski trip, before I could process any of things I was feeling at that moment. We went on the trip, I somehow made it through. I came back to Sumner, packed my stuff, and then went home. The next few months would be a long journey. My mother is now in remission of her cancer, she still does not have the use of her legs, but its getting there and the doctors have hope she may walk again someday :)
During this time, life was very difficult. My family had to undergo alot of stress. And as anyone knows, with that stress comes frustration. None of us understood why my mother had to go through all of this. But we did know that we served a God who had a plan that we couldnt even pretend to know or understand.
The rest of the year was filled with more lessons to learn. I did 3 camps the summer of 2011. I counseled at a camp for neglected and abused children and my life was changed forever! Those children only had one good week a year and this was that week! My heart was broken, and I was forever changed realizing how amazing my life was. I counseled at Red Rock for the 8th year in a row!! Some of my closest friends are there. This year at Red Rock, God really began to speak to my heart. He spoke many things to me, some of which he is still speaking now. One thing was that he began to speak to my heart about leaving Sumner. I wasnt really ready to listen at that point in time, as I had just moved there not that long before and I was working my dream job, why in the World would God call me out of it, seemingly almost as fast as he called me in to it? But, by the end of the week, I knew what he was saying. I bawled and fought it for a while.
I came home from Red Rock and helped lead VBS at Sumner church. It was that week that God really spoke to me, as the new pastor came to visit, God told me I am leading you out, be open to it and quit fighting me. I was getting ready to be the youth director at Camp Zion after this. I got really sick the week before Zion, what I thought was just the flu, turned out to be much more. I went to camp and worked through all of my illness that whole week and God moved and did some incredible things. One of which was that he lead me to know I would be leaving Sumner VERY QUICKLY. In fact, after camp was over, I was till so sick, I had to take a few days off and come back to Oskaloosa to see my doctors.
At this time, the doctors did alot of testing. Finding out that I had arthritis, my thyroid was out of whack, my hormones were way out of balance, and I needed to be closely monitored for a while. During this same time, my fathers health was not doing that great either, and he was quite lonely and stressed with my mom being in the nursing home. The doctors told me that it would be best if I could be back in Oskaloosa, if it was at all possible. I didnt see how this could even work, I didnt have a job here, I didnt have a home here, nothing. BUT....God knew, and HE had a plan. With in one day, and without even an interview, I was offered a job teaching preschool, but I had to start a week later. Which is when the doctors wanted me to be back.
I had no choice but to see that this was God and I must follow him. So I did! I went back to Sumner, and had 3 days to pack up my things, and say good bye to the life I had just made for myself and in all of it trust that God had something bigger and better. The people of Sumner were caring, loving, and understanding. I moved home! My dad and I found a place to live in together and I began to teach preschool.
I have had a great ministry to my children and their parents. My health has improved greatly since moving back, and many issues that I have had for YEARS that have gone unnoticed are now being resolved and cared for! Praise God! My fathers health is better than it has been in YEARS!! His cholesterol is lower, his blood pressures and blood sugars are great and he is happy :)
I cant argue that God was in control, he was helping us with things we didnt even know we needed help with.
I am now teaching preschool at a private Christian school and loving it. However, the economy has greatly affected us and we may have to close soon. I have had to go and look for another job. and try to understand and see God in this as well. He called me back here, he has a plan, I just have to believe it :) I have 2 interviews this week and know that God has some GREAT things in store for 2012!!!
You see, MANY things have happened in this past year, things that have molded me and changed me and most of all have allowed me to get to know God in ways I never have before. and I am thankful for all of the trials for that very reason, because its ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!! Something I learned through a class I took called Perspectives, which also changed my life in 2011!!!
While it isnt what I planned or what I thought it would be, 2011 has been a year of growth and change in the life of Becky Canny and I am proud of the person I am now! No matter what it took to get me here.
But, back to that 3-0 thing :) What I want to do this year, is blog more. I want my life to be chronicled more for people to see, for myself to see. I want Gods glory to be seen in my life. So what I am going to do for the next 23 days (thats how many days until my birthday), I am going to blog about the people in my life that have helped make me who I am today. The places and things that have brought me here. so heres a look at what is to come friends :) Hope you enjoy.
January 2- My Parents- Ed and Brenda Canny
January 3- My Brother, My Bestfriend- Bryan Edward Canny
January 4- My Sister, My Bestfriend- Shannon
January 5- BESTFRIEND- Meggan
January 6- Distance Matters Not in a true friend- Melissa
January 7- How are we so much alike?-Trista
January 8- Adopted Grandparents- Grandpa and Grandma Lindsey, Gpa Bob and Gma Betty
January 9- Friends are Friends Forever- Angie, Megan, and Stephanie.
January 10- Work Friends can be True Friends- Marianne and Lauren
January 11- What happens at Vennard Stays at Vennard- SOMETIMES...The College Years :)
January 12- High School Years- they changed my life.
January 13- My honoary BIG brother (Mike Graff), and even on his birthday :) Tim Lemmens and other musicians in my life.
January 14- My Church Family
January 15- My Red Rock Family
January 16- My Bethel Camp Family
January 17- My Shiloh Camp Family
January 18- RFKC- Royal Family Kids Camp
January 19- My Preschool Class
January 20- My Sumner Family
January 21- My honorary neices and nephews- Gabe and Thadd, Hannah, Thano, Ethan, Noah, Aiden, and Austin, Jonah, Judah, and Jesse, Jackson and Lanie.
January 22- Time with the Guys- My big brothers
January 23- a reflection of the last 30 years of my life....this one could be long ;) Please read it.
January 24----THE CELEBRATION!!!! My entrance into my 30s!!!!!! Hope its a fun ride :)
So there you have it friends, for the next 24 days at least, I will be blogging once a day, I hope that you are ready for it :) Thank You all for being a part of this journey with me!!!
Love you
Becky
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