I am in a stage in my life right now that is very difficult at parts and yet very rewarding too. I will be honest and tell you that my heart and passion has been for youth ministry for years and I KNOW that God placed it there and when the time is right, he will open that door again, he has already begun to in someways....but ANYWAY, in this time of transition, while Im not working with youth, I do get to work with some of the most beautiful and precious 2 and 3 year olds on the planet :) Okay, I dont ALWAYS feel that way, in the midst of a fit where Miss Becky has been kicked 4 or 5 times, when Im changing the poopy diaper from a 3 year old who just came up and said, "I know I should go in the potty, I just didnt want to". But 95% of the time I LOVE what Im doing and I know its a place I need to be right now to learn lessons for my own life. As I care for these children every day, God reveals to me the love and care he has for me, and really just a small glimpse of it.
I am telling you right now, I CANT WAIT to be a mother someday, I long for it, and I feel that I am getting a small taste of it now. And if my heart can grow and love these children that arent my own, a) I cant IMAGINE how much I am going to love my own children and b) CANT EVEN FATHOM the love that my savior truly has for me!
Some of the simplest lessons in my life are being learned right now through these children.
1- Once you ask God and he gives you an answer, DONT KEEP ASKING, he has given you the answer, you know what he said, just trust him. I dont know how many times in a day one of my little guys comes and says "Miss Becky are we going to play outside today?" and I always answer, sometimes its "Do you see the rain outside our window? That means we have to play inside today,but we will still have fun!" other times the answer is, "yes we are, as soon as....is done with his snack or as soon as Miss Becky gets....diaper changed" The point is, I ALWAYS answer them, and it doesnt matter, they STILL ASK! I do this with God alot! Im dealing with something right now in this regard. God has spoken to my heart very clearly about something, and it just doesnt seem to be happening in the way I think it should, so I just keep asking him about it,and he keeps saying the same things to me, "Becky, just wait, in my time, this is going to be beautiful and I have great things in store, just hold on!" But just like my kiddos, I come to him the next day, and ask him about it, I fret over it and worry about it. And it gets me no where, and sometimes I wonder if God gets as frustrated about it as I do :)
2- God holds us in the palm of his hand and he truly cares for us. One of my favorite times of the day is nap time, its not because Im lazy :) Its because this is one on one time with the kids, some of them cuddle right up to me and say "Miss Becky, I love you, youre the best teacher in the whole world" and sometimes they just cuddle in close because they know that they are safe in my arms. Again a moment I CANT WAIT to have with my children someday! I love to sing to the kids and just enjoy that precious time together. Another time that is hard for me is when the kids are sick, taking their temperatures and holding them as we wait for mom to come when its too high. Holding them after they have thrown up and they are so upset. I like to be reminded that God is holding me in the same way. When Im sick, he wants to hold me and care for me. When I am hurting he wants to wipe my tears, and sometimes he just wants those times to hold me close and remind me that he loves me.
3- Watching my kiddos grow and learn is SO REWARDING! When I first started teaching this class, I had a little boy who had a very bad speech problem, and because of this he just didnt want to talk much at all. Since my coming, he has developed a vocabulary! Granted many of his words are not recognizable unless you spend time with him everyday, but HE HAS LEARNED and I am a part of that!!! I think that God is the same with us. When we truly learn, he is SO PROUD of us. I will be honest and tell you that my first month in the classroom was NOT FUN! These kids had not had any discipline or structure and this is why I was brought in to their room. I had to rule with as much of an iron fist as you can with 2 and 3 year olds :) I had to discipline and at first I think the kids HATED me! BUT.....now 2 months in, they have learned! They clean up their own toys now! When Miss Becky sings the line up song, they line up. When its time to wash hands, the line up on the stars at the sink. Its not perfect, but they have LEARNED ALOT!!! I think that this is what God feels sometimes as well, he has to put us through those really hard times, to mold us into better people, to give us a life that is richer than the one we are presently living. Im thankful he does that for us!
I know that these are a few very simple lessons, but they are what God is teaching me right now. My kiddos, I love you very much! Not that any of you can read this :) But I do love you VERY MUCH! And you too friends :)
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